After Covid time to look for a new doctor/sleep doctor

[Kellysfriend]

I would like to ask you about managing expectations. Based on previous experience I should not have had any expectations the employee would follow through with the tasks.  Managing them would have been to be on top of the vendor immediately making sure everything was being handled and if something was needed on her part calling the office and making sure it happened rather than just waiting and after four weeks calling the vendor and finding out nothing had happened?

[srlevine1]

I would like to ask you about managing expectations. Based on previous experience I should not have had any expectations the employee would follow through with the tasks.  Managing them would have been to be on top of the vendor immediately making sure everything was being handled and if something was needed on her part calling the office and making sure it happened rather than just waiting and after four weeks calling the vendor and finding out nothing had happened?

When I referred to managing expectations, I did not mean managing external events, but you managing your own emotions relating to those events. 

Essentially the way I manage people and events is simply to calendar when an event occurs and a reasonable follow-up date that is acceptable to me. I then put the matter aside and do not waste any more emotional capital thinking about what ifs or whys. When the follow-up date is reached, the item is either checked-off or a follow-up is initiated. Personally, I allow for two follow-ups before I take more drastic action. If the matter is urgent, I call every day. I document all calls. Before I take drastic action, I write a letter with the timeline and who I have spoken with. Very rarely do I need to go beyond the letter.

The key to this approach is to know exactly what you want in terms of service or resolution. When I make a request (or issue an order), I tell the person what I want, when I want it, and how I want something done if that is important to me.

[Gideon]

Note: the Apnea Board does not encourage personal consultations via PM, EMail, or Phone.
Part of what works here is having other users voice opinions which occasionally correct bad info.

[srlevine1]

Thanks Fred.

I removed the offending offer.

Steve

[mesenteria]

Part of being successful is understanding that all of life is a negotiation with other forces.  Sometimes negotiations don't always come out as we'd like them.  However, you still have a choice about how you proceed, and I believe srlevine intends that you look forward, as you now seem inclined to do.

You still have that choice, though.  If you gather your thoughts, and your records, and construct a 'neutral' (non-accusatory) account of what you think THEY could have done better on your behalf, and perhaps show some self-learning by admitting that you let some things slide as well, even if just too much time before you got your back up, you might find that they'll take a sober second look at how they have handled you.  

At some point, you may still be happier with taking your custom to a new physician for a fresh start.  If you do, shrug off the old mantle and put on a new one.  You'll feel better being optimistic rather than wary.

[Kellysfriend]

I appreciate your responses. I got it. I saved them as a guide and am putting them into practice. Thanks for the kind offer you removed. I didn't want to take advantage of your time. Again many thanks.

[Homerec130]

I have no problems "firing" a doctor. I fired my cardiologist as the office would never respond to my requests, They messed up my portal account by merging it with my wife's which also messed all of the other accounts suing the same portal system. Said it was my problem to fix and they couldn't help me. Tried to make an appointment and was told you can only do it through the portal as you are an existing patient. Never returned any calls. Real good example of how not to run an office. I told the doctor outright that it wasn't him, it was the non-support I was getting from his staff. And I had been with him for about 20 years.

My wife changed sleep doctors a couple of times. Her first was our ENT and he flatly told her she was getting into an area above my expertise - great call on his part - admitting she needed someone else (He is my sleep doc and still our ENT). The second sleep doc had no clue what was going on even though she was recommended by several patients and doctors. This one never responded to requests for records. When you called, it went right to voice mail. Need to make an appointment - voice mail, returning the doctor's call - voice mail. We found out later she also had some disciplinary actions against her from when she worked at one of the local spas and was under probation because one of her folks filled our her license renewal and left something out.

My wife's current sleep doc said, screw this mess, we are starting over. Ordered a new set of sleep studies and got it on file with Medicare that the previous doctor did not provide proper care and got everything reset. Current sleep doc is certified in sleep medicine and has done fellowships in it. She also uses a scribe during visits and takes the time to find out what is going on and what we need to do.

As for your current DME - 13 month rental is more or less the standard with Medicare. Once that is over, you "own" the machine. I would push for whatever supplies you can get and have them on hand. And you don't have to get everything everytime. I have enough hoses that I can redo my drip system and still have stuff left over. My DME used to use the package deal - need supplies - this period you get kit 1, next period you get kit 2. Packaged according to what your insurance allows. They have now shifted to tell us what you really need (guess it is because I am with Medicare). I like a longer hose so I ordered two on line from one of the suppliers. So, I no longer need the shorter hoses. My wife and I have the same machines and use the same type of mask so we always have spare parts.

Key take away from all this - you are in charge of your treatment and there is nothing wrong with saying good bye to someone who is not giving you what you want.

[Kellysfriend]

Part of being successful is understanding that all of life is a negotiation with other forces.  Sometimes negotiations don't always come out as we'd like them.  However, you still have a choice about how you proceed, and I believe srlevine intends that you look forward, as you now seem inclined to do.

You still have that choice, though.  If you gather your thoughts, and your records, and construct a 'neutral' (non-accusatory) account of what you think THEY could have done better on your behalf, and perhaps show some self-learning by admitting that you let some things slide as well, even if just too much time before you got your back up, you might find that they'll take a sober second look at how they have handled you.  

At some point, you may still be happier with taking your custom to a new physician for a fresh start.  If you do, shrug off the old mantle and put on a new one.  You'll feel better being optimistic rather than wary.

Thank you for reaching out. This is good and timely advice. The help srlevine gave me was crucial to reset my thinking (this is business) and take back my power. I had let emotion get in the way. 

The other day I received a message, from the women at the doctor's office responsible for the mistakes, stating she faxed my information to the DME company. This was a week after the request and my supplies had been delivered. It would be an opportunity to respond with my documented chain of events. I have to see if it is worth my time or if just typing up my list is enough. I do not want to work with this woman again so I am not interesting in them fixing anything. I will not sit back and wait for anyone to do things again.

[Big Guy]

What Homer said.............

[Kellysfriend]

Your former cardiologist office sounds like my doctor's office, only worse, although my doctor's office might be headed there. Hearing about your wife makes me think I would be better off with a real sleep doctor. My doctor has been dabbling in it. Another doctor in the practice is certified in sleep. I didn't know he was writing the prescriptions until this go round when someone at the DME told me that doctor signed the prescription. 

I notice you use a full-face mask. Why do you use one and how does it work for you? I have been opening my mouth lately. My doctor ordered me a full face mask earlier this year. I didn't like it. I was still opening my mouth so I didn't see that it was helping any. I got a chin strap this time. By the time I have my head cinched up with the chin stray and the  head gear there is so much on my head I cannot sleep from the tension of my head being bound up. 

The full face mask she ordered for me covered my mouth and was just below my nose with a slit that blew air up my nose. If the slit wasn't just right I was not getting air. What kind of full face mask do you and your wife use?