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Almost divorced over CPAP
#1
Hello, I am new to this forum and in desperate need of guidance. My husband has OSA and has struggled with his CPAP machine for our whole marriage- seven years now. He had his deviated septum repaired (over 70% deviated) two months ago and still says he has no relief with the machine. He always pulls the mask off at night and has maybe has a hand full of nights that he has kept it on. His personality and mood have noticeably changed in the past few years. He's always been a little "off" when he doesn't sleep well and over the last few months he is increasingly angry, short-tempered, and difficult to live with. We have a 5-year-old son who is always asking "why is daddy so mad" because he slams doors, kicks things, and yells when he's angry. We have slept separately for our entire marriage because of his snoring. I have tried on occasion sleeping with him to help him keep the mask on and I have such anxiety about it that I cannot sleep. Also, when I have woken him up because he pulled the mask off I am met with him throwing the machine on the floor and going to another room to sleep. I'd like to think I could tough it out by remaining in the room with him overnight for as long as it takes, but it makes no sense to me for both of us to be sleep deprived since we have a child and two full-time jobs.

What is the next step besides CPAP? Are there other options? Is there something physical we're missing? I've thought about going to a highly ranked sleep center out-of-state if needed. I need something, anything to try because I am almost at the point of walking away from my marriage. I am constantly walking on egg shells and never know what kind of mood he will be in when he comes home or when he wakes up. Any direction would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
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#2
SassySW,
Is your husband "open" for suggestions? Or does he shut you out with "all things CPAP related"?

Has he seen a sleep specialist in the last seven years? What machine, mask does he use? What pressure is he on. Does he use software to track his data? If you could fill out the profile, we may be able to give some helpful suggestions.

With the right machine, mask, and pressure settings, it would be an improvement for him and you.



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#3
I will check his machine tonight and get the info on the settings. I think he is open to just about anything at this point. He had a repeat sleep study less than a year ago and they still say he is in the "moderate" range with 5-10 events per however many minutes they measure. He has primarily treated this with a primary care physician and ENT. I'm wondering if we need someone else. I am truly afraid that his life is in danger if we don't get some help.
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#4
He should join this forum. The medical route for practical advice is not always the best... Here you get hundreds of eyes on your questions that are actual users and sufferers...

Is he a mouth breather? What model mask is he using? Which masks has he tried? Does he have a heated hose? What machine?

He needs to get proactive. Install sleepyhead and start learning what's happening... and take action to correct things to get under 5 events per hour.
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#5
(07-20-2015, 11:41 AM)SassySW Wrote: I am truly afraid that his life is in danger if we don't get some help.

have you asked him what he feels like when he has the need to pull the mask off? maybe his pressure is set wrong. I bet he also could use a newer machine that has been improved on if he is using a 7 year old machine.
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#6
There is a chance that his machine isn't data capable if it is approximately 7 years old
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#7
(07-20-2015, 11:52 AM)player Wrote: He should join this forum. The medical route for practical advice is not always the best... Here you get hundreds of eyes on your questions that are actual users and sufferers...

Is he a mouth breather? What model mask is he using? Which masks has he tried? Does he have a heated hose? What machine?

He needs to get proactive. Install sleepyhead and start learning what's happening... and take action to correct things to get under 5 events per hour.

Sound advice, if I may say so. Okay
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#8
Hi and welcome to Apnea board Hi
If you could get your hubby to come aboard here we might be able to help with suggestions that could help, also would be helpful if you could enter in the profile data as to which machine, mask, if using a humidifier and pressure. This would give us a starting point. Don't Give Up! Something as simple as pressure too low and giving him the feeling of being suffocated will make the mask come off in a hurry. Mask leaks in the eyes will do it too. List can go on. If you can get him to hang out and ask questions and explain what he feels is happening might help.. Trust me someone has or is still going through the same problem here.
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#9
(07-20-2015, 12:15 PM)me50 Wrote:
(07-20-2015, 11:41 AM)SassySW Wrote: I am truly afraid that his life is in danger if we don't get some help.

have you asked him what he feels like when he has the need to pull the mask off? maybe his pressure is set wrong. I bet he also could use a newer machine that has been improved on if he is using a 7 year old machine.


(07-20-2015, 04:18 PM)SassySW Wrote:
(07-20-2015, 12:15 PM)me50 Wrote:
(07-20-2015, 11:41 AM)SassySW Wrote: I am truly afraid that his life is in danger if we don't get some help.

have you asked him what he feels like when he has the need to pull the mask off? maybe his pressure is set wrong. I bet he also could use a newer machine that has been improved on if he is using a 7 year old machine.
Hi, thanks for the reply. I updated his settings in my profile. We are on the second machine and this one is about two years old I think. I will definitely ask about how he feels before he takes it off. Could there be a chance this is a Central apnea instead of or in addition to an obstructive one?
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#10
Quote: I will definitely ask about how he feels before he takes it off. Could there be a chance this is a Central apnea instead of or in addition to an obstructive one?




Thank you for updating the profile, just need a little more info Respironics is the brand name. Is it possible to get the model # from underneath the unit . First remove the water tub in the humidifier. # will be like 550, 560, ect. If we know the model we can tell you if the machine is a Data capable one or not. If it is you can download the Sleepyhead program. By reading the sd card (depending on machine model) the data will show what is going on and could show central events if that is whats going on .
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