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Ashamed of needing a cpap, don't want wife to see me.
#1
Ashamed of needing a cpap, don't want wife to see me.
I am so terribly ashamed of putting a cpap on that I only do it after turning the lights off. I even try to sleep the whole night turned the other way so she doesn't see me.

How do you guys/girls feel about using the cpap and your partner seeing you?

She says that she doesn't care, that when she sleeps she isn't looking at me anyway, and she much prefers me during the day if I'm not a zombie all day. 
And she is kind of right, but still, I feel like crap putting that mask on my face at night, I feel like a cripple.
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#2
RE: Ashamed of needing a cpap, don't want wife to see me.
You must be a newlywed. Believe your wife. Marriage is sharing no matter if it's good or bad. I'm about to hit 30 years of marriage. The secret is trust and having no secrets. Well except for the candy stash.
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#3
RE: Ashamed of needing a cpap, don't want wife to see me.
Doesn't bother me one bit. But I've been married to my best friend for 20 years, so I'm totally at easy with her. I also wear a PapCap chin strap and look somewhat like Hannibal Lector when I get geared up for bed.

However, the noise does bother her, so we are trying to work through that. I also can't sleep on my left side because the mask blows air directly on her. I've got to try a different mask.
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#4
RE: Ashamed of needing a cpap, don't want wife to see me.
had to switch from a nasal to a full face because I was making too much noise with my mouth open at night.
With the full face at least the noise doesn't bother her anymore.

Been together for 11 years. I'm 33.
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#5
RE: Ashamed of needing a cpap, don't want wife to see me.
Get her one too?   Smile
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#6
RE: Ashamed of needing a cpap, don't want wife to see me.
During 15 years plus of CPAP use it has never bothered my best friend and wife of 58 years. It did scare the daylights out of a granddaughter and one cat. Just chill out and don't  create problems where none exist. Good luck  and  success with your treatment.

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#7
RE: Ashamed of needing a cpap, don't want wife to see me.
only 45 years so far here.  Make a deal with your wife, she can take it off for any (activity) she desires.
I'm sure she cares only about your health.

Fred
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#8
RE: Ashamed of needing a cpap, don't want wife to see me.
(11-05-2017, 08:16 PM)Kryogen Wrote: had to switch from a nasal to a full face because I was making too much noise with my mouth open at night.
With the full face at least the noise doesn't bother her anymore.

Been together for 11 years. I'm 33.

In another 27 years you will be married as long as my wife and I, and as an added bonus, you will also be my age.  I recommend you worry about things that matter. You are letting ego and expectations get in the way.  Your wife will love you, and wants the best for you.   Embracing that is not so bad.  Good therapy has its benefits in bed as well.  

I didn't start CPAP until 2008, but felt much the same way, but got over it because it was only in MY head.  Since last year, my wife and I mask up together.  It will all work out, but you're my kid's age.  They probably would feel the same.  I hope you find peace with yourself. It's hard being your own worst critic.
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INFORMATION ON APNEA BOARD FORUMS OR ON APNEABOARD.COM SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS MEDICAL ADVICE. ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF A PHYSICIAN BEFORE SEEKING TREATMENT FOR MEDICAL CONDITIONS, INCLUDING SLEEP APNEA. INFORMATION POSTED ON THE APNEA BOARD WEB SITE AND FORUMS ARE PERSONAL OPINION ONLY AND NOT NECESSARILY A STATEMENT OF FACT.
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#9
RE: Ashamed of needing a cpap, don't want wife to see me.
Kryogen,
There is no reason to feel ashamed.  This is just another season of your life, hopefully a very long one.

I’m sure your wife will be supportive if you help her understand what you are going through.

What if the tables were turned and she was the one needing Cpap therapy?  How would you handle it?  

I have a feeling you would want to help her and learn all you could about Sleep Apnea.  She probably wants to help you, so try to involve her if she is willing.
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INFORMATION ON APNEA BOARD FORUMS OR ON APNEABOARD.COM SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS MEDICAL ADVICE.  ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF A PHYSICIAN BEFORE SEEKING TREATMENT FOR MEDICAL CONDITIONS, INCLUDING SLEEP APNEA.  INFORMATION POSTED ON THE APNEA BOARD WEB SITE AND FORUMS ARE PERSONAL OPINION ONLY AND NOT NECESSARILY A STATEMENT OF FACT.
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#10
RE: Ashamed of needing a cpap, don't want wife to see me.
I have been using cpap for 8 years but I wish I had been diagnosed much earlier. My snoring kept my husband awake for many nights at some point during the night. He is my best friend and we've been married 47 years. I said the same thing you said about being embarrassed to put on the cpap mask the first few nights with my cpap machine. Then my husband asked me a question - "Isn't it better to be able to breathe correctly all night instead of having apnea events"? Good Luck to you and don't sweat the small stuff.
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