Ashamed of needing a cpap, don't want wife to see me.

[DariaVader]

My husband laughs. Called me a snuffleupagus, and then later a koala (think P10). Luckily I have a fairly thick skin, and although he definitely means it, he also thinks my health is more important than other things. Like Sleeprider, though, you are the age of my children... these things do carry a lot more importance before you give it up as you age. You are fortunate tho. You are treating your apnea before it has a chance to do years worth of damage. Trust your wife to love you no matter. She will feel the trust and respond in kind and you will grow a deeper relationship.

[VladimirTrotzskyi]

You're thinking about it wrong. MY Dreamwear mask lets me breathe under the covers - *way* under the covers as long as I want. My wife loves it.

[Sheepish]

One thing that might help bring it all into perspective is to remember the first time you got glasses for reading. Maybe you haven't yet, but when I finally had to get some in my forties, after years of thinking how "lucky" I was I'd never needed them, I thought eesh, I just can't get used to the idea that I need this artificial device on my face just to perform a basic biological function -- seeing. What's worse, I'll have to wear these contraptions out in public and everyone, not just loved ones who care about me, but complete strangers, will see me wearing them.

Not saying you should wear your CPAP mask & headgear out on a city bus or at the mall, but the one you vowed to each other "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health" will surely find it in her heart not only to look past what you're understandably initially self-conscious about, but will fully support you as much as you would her.

[Ghost1958]

Think of it this way.
You'll likely be more embarrassed when she's changing your diapers because you didn't use it and blew a stroke in your sleep.
Or just go to sleep and never wake up.

[CB91710]

Get her one too?  

Seriously...   She's complained about my snoring for years, and it finally got to the point that we were seriously concerned after a few instances waking up feeling that I could not breathe.

Of course, I constantly heard her snoring, but she always denied having a problem.

I got mine, then a month later she got hers.

[SideSleeper]

I was delighted when my husband got his CPAP--I could finally sleep without his snoring and stop-breathing episodes that woke me up. Then a couple of years later I ended up with my own CPAP. We have to sleep back to back in order not to blow the exhale air at each other but have never had a problem. With a machine going on each side of the bed I do wear a soft foam earplug in my top-side ear. I'm certain she will be thankful that you are a lot quieter bed pardner!

[Kryogen]

Ok thanks all

[KSMatthew]

I'll admit that I was self conscious about it, too. Once that starts, it's a hard habit to break. So suck it up, it's for the benefit of both of you.

[Mark Douglas]

In reply to CB91710

We resemble this remark

[tmoody]

I don't think I ever felt "ashamed" but my vanity took a hit. It wasn't so much how I looked, or how I imagined I looked, as it was the sheer pathetic quality of being unable to sleep "right" without a...contraption. Sleeping should be the simplest, most natural thing one can do, as I thought, and yet I was apparently unable to do it right.

I still get pangs of that feeling when I wake up feeling unrested even when the machine says I had a "good" night. But mostly I'm just grateful that the technology exists.