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Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
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trailrider Offline

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Machine: A10 Autoset for Her
Mask Type: Nasal mask
Mask Make & Model: Eson or P10
Humidifier: autoset
CPAP Pressure: 6-12 DME, 7-13 me
CPAP Software: SleepyHead

Other Comments: engineer. EPR at 3, unheated hose, humidity at 2. Routine hose entanglement.

Sex: Female
Location: Ontario

Post: #21
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
Married couples are teams. Supposedly. Each contributes to the marriage. So one has read up on apnea treatments, xPAP adjustments and knows how to read sleepyhead. The other does his own things, like (stereotyping here) swapping the winter tires, checking the furnace, mowing the lawn, etc. My husb and I bring different perspectives to solving a problem. But if one of us is not interested in looking at the problem, the other will work on it regardless.

So take the card, make a second profile in Sleepyhead, and see what his apnea is doing and how things are going. Then you can make helpful suggestions like: "You were leaking a lot between 2 and 4 am dear. Need a strap adjustment?" Or "Happy Birthday, I got you a P-10!" Or, "Wow, you snored even through your mask last night. And the past 15 as well. Let's call the doc for a check on that."
06-06-2015 10:48 AM
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Mark Douglas Offline

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Posts: 513
Joined: Apr 2015

Machine: Sys 1 (60) RemStar BiPAP Auto with Bi-Flex 760P Auto Bi-Level (Variabl
Mask Type: Nasal mask
Mask Make & Model: PR Wisp
Humidifier: PR Sys One heated
CPAP Pressure: RiseTime 3 Fxd E-9.0 / I-11.5
CPAP Software: SleepyHead EncoreBasic

Other Comments: Hashimoto's thyroiditis.

Sex: Male
Location: SW Ohio

Post: #22
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
trailrider was my take also with the proviso if he is malignant-stubborn don't do it.
If he is not malignant-stubborn when presented with fait accompli hopefully he will accept with grace. If OP has a history of nagging all bets are off.
I think the root of this is based in what we are.
Women (as a group) see this as being helpful and nurturing and do not understand a man's reluctance.
Men (as a group) see this as meddling and mothering and bossing and rebel - even if you pin them down and they admit wife is correct. Wink

I use my PAP machine nightly and I feel great!
Updated: Philips Respironics System One (60 Series)
RemStar BiPAP Auto with Bi-FlexModel 760P -
Rise Time x3 Fixed Bi-Level EPAP 9.0 IPAP 11.5 (cmH2O)
06-06-2015 12:29 PM
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retired_guy Offline

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Posts: 2,744
Joined: Jan 2014

Machine: ResMed S9 Autoset
Mask Type: Nasal pillows
Mask Make & Model: Resmed Airfit P10
Humidifier: ResMed
CPAP Pressure: 10.6/14, EPR 3
CPAP Software: ResScan SleepyHead

Other Comments: Is it bedtime yet?

Sex: Male
Location: Beautiful, albeit very wet Oregon Coast

Post: #23
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
It really doesn't have all that much to do with being a boy or a girl. Some women are better at "being helpful/meddling, nurturing/bossing" than others. And that's pretty much true for guys as well. So you take two people, of same or opposite sex, and put them together. Each couple and each person in the coupling work out the dynamics that will constitute this particular dance for their relationship.

Sometimes it's easy.

Sometimes not.

In my case it's very simple. I have the complete freedom to do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it to whomever that might be. Unless of course Mrs. R_G gives me "the look." Then of course I have the freedom to change my mind.
(This post was last modified: 06-06-2015 01:52 PM by retired_guy.)
06-06-2015 01:52 PM
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trailrider Offline

Preferred Members-2

Posts: 304
Joined: Feb 2015

Machine: A10 Autoset for Her
Mask Type: Nasal mask
Mask Make & Model: Eson or P10
Humidifier: autoset
CPAP Pressure: 6-12 DME, 7-13 me
CPAP Software: SleepyHead

Other Comments: engineer. EPR at 3, unheated hose, humidity at 2. Routine hose entanglement.

Sex: Female
Location: Ontario

Post: #24
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
Reminds me, I need to go apologize to DH. He agreed to something I wanted to do, it didn't work out, and it took four days of much effort to fix. Where do they stock humble pie in the grocery store?
06-06-2015 08:57 PM
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retired_guy Offline

Preferred Members-2

Posts: 2,744
Joined: Jan 2014

Machine: ResMed S9 Autoset
Mask Type: Nasal pillows
Mask Make & Model: Resmed Airfit P10
Humidifier: ResMed
CPAP Pressure: 10.6/14, EPR 3
CPAP Software: ResScan SleepyHead

Other Comments: Is it bedtime yet?

Sex: Male
Location: Beautiful, albeit very wet Oregon Coast

Post: #25
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
(06-06-2015 08:57 PM)trailrider Wrote:  Reminds me, I need to go apologize to DH. He agreed to something I wanted to do, it didn't work out, and it took four days of much effort to fix. Where do they stock humble pie in the grocery store?

Asked him to reprogram your cellphone did ya? Yep, been there, done that.
06-06-2015 09:34 PM
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PANCH0 Offline

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Joined: Jun 2015

Machine: ResMed Aircurve 10s
Mask Type: Full face mask
Mask Make & Model: ResMed f10
Humidifier: ResMed
CPAP Pressure: ball 17/11
CPAP Software: SleepyHead

Other Comments:

Sex: Male
Location:

Post: #26
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
Forgive me, but I'm not sure what a "DH is, but if you are partners... You have a right. Just ask my wife;-) . Seriously, I think she saved my butt. I'm pretty stubborn.
(This post was last modified: 06-06-2015 09:39 PM by PANCH0.)
06-06-2015 09:37 PM
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archangle Offline
Wiki Editor
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Posts: 3,159
Joined: Feb 2012

Machine: ResMed S9 AutoSet
Mask Type: Nasal pillows
Mask Make & Model: ResMed Swift FX
Humidifier: ResMed S9 H5i
CPAP Pressure: 16-20
CPAP Software: ResScan SleepyHead EncoreBasic

Other Comments: Happy PAPper

Sex: Undisclosed
Location: USA

Post: #27
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
(06-05-2015 04:55 PM)Mark Douglas Wrote:  Sorry for hijack but this is not true. I am being medicated against my will and so are a lot of other people on a public water system.

If you don't like the public water supply, buy bottled water or move to where the water supply is more to your liking. Or maybe buy yourself a home water still.

I might prefer to drink all natural mountain spring water instead of the filtered and chlorinated lake water my local municipal water system supplies. I don't expect my local municipal water provider to switch the water supply over to that just because of my opinion.

Get the free SleepyHead software here.
Useful links.
Click here for information on the main alternative to CPAP.
If it's midnight and a DME tells you it's dark outside, go and check it yourself.
06-06-2015 10:21 PM
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Mark Douglas Offline

Advisory Members

Posts: 513
Joined: Apr 2015

Machine: Sys 1 (60) RemStar BiPAP Auto with Bi-Flex 760P Auto Bi-Level (Variabl
Mask Type: Nasal mask
Mask Make & Model: PR Wisp
Humidifier: PR Sys One heated
CPAP Pressure: RiseTime 3 Fxd E-9.0 / I-11.5
CPAP Software: SleepyHead EncoreBasic

Other Comments: Hashimoto's thyroiditis.

Sex: Male
Location: SW Ohio

Post: #28
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
Sorry but you are 180 out of phase.
People who want a medication are free to purchase same.
Your right to swing your arms stops at the end of my nose.

I use my PAP machine nightly and I feel great!
Updated: Philips Respironics System One (60 Series)
RemStar BiPAP Auto with Bi-FlexModel 760P -
Rise Time x3 Fixed Bi-Level EPAP 9.0 IPAP 11.5 (cmH2O)
06-07-2015 12:08 PM
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sansnap Offline

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Machine: REMstar Auto A-Flex (560P)
Mask Type: Nasal pillows
Mask Make & Model: Airfit P10
Humidifier: Respironics System One
CPAP Pressure: 7.5-12 | Ramp Disabled
CPAP Software: SleepyHead

Other Comments:

Sex: Undisclosed
Location: Pacific NW

Post: #29
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
(06-06-2015 09:37 PM)PANCH0 Wrote:  Forgive me, but I'm not sure what a "DH is, but if you are partners... You have a right. Just ask my wife;-) . Seriously, I think she saved my butt. I'm pretty stubborn.

DH = Dear/ Darling Husband
DW = Dear/darling Wife

Internet shorthand Wink

At any rate, yes, he is stubborn, but he is also a busy guy and I think views having to visit his doc as a major distraction and hassle. I get that...

Regarding having a right to meddle - well maybe. A right to be concerned and express that concern? Yes, definitely. But a right to pull his card and read it on the sly? ermm...

It's a privacy thing and probably a trust violation. I don't look through his wallet uninvited or read his e-mail and I assume that he extends me the same courtesy. Respecting boundaries is a basic tenet in our relationship. Still there may be a time when it's reasonable to take this action... I'm just not sure, this is it. Some of the suggestions posted here have been helpful - good food for thought.
(This post was last modified: 06-07-2015 02:11 PM by sansnap.)
06-07-2015 02:10 PM
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vsheline Offline

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Posts: 1,907
Joined: Jul 2012

Machine: S9 VPAP Adapt (USA Model# 36007, not better 36037 or 36067)
Mask Type: Full face mask
Mask Make & Model: F10 or SimPlus w/ 2Liners. MirageQuatro & Gecko gel pad
Humidifier: H5i
CPAP Pressure: 15 EPAP, PS 5-10
CPAP Software: ResScan

Other Comments: Marfan Syndrome, chronic bradycardia, occasional Cheyne-Stokes Respiration

Sex: Male
Location: California, USA

Post: #30
RE: Ethical dilemma or nosey parker
Hi smokey57, welcome to Apnea Board.

Membership in the Advisory Member group should not be understood as in any way implying medical expertise or qualification for advising Sleep Apnea patients concerning their treatment. The Advisory Member group provides advice and suggestions to Apnea Board administrators and staff on matters concerning Apnea Board operation and administrative policies - not on matters concerning treatment for Sleep Apnea. I think it is now too late to change the name of the group but I think Voting Member group would perhaps have been a more descriptive name for the group.
06-07-2015 05:50 PM
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