I would suggest that you take out a large life insurance policy on your husband and never mention sleep apnea again.
I am self treating successfully. I started several months ago after
realizing I had many of the signs. After doing somewhat extensive
research on the subject I purchased a ResMed S9. My first week
resulted in 43-48 AHI! I slowly raised the pressure over days until
I had no red "obstructives". I still had many "centrals" that went
down over time. Now I have most nights, under 1.0 AHI although
I still get up to a 7.0 a couple times per month. My wife bought me
a pulse oximeter for my birthday. From what I have learned since,
I would say that is a very valuable, almost essential device in my treatment. I "dump" my chip and pulseox every morning to see
how I'm doing. I feel so much better I can hardly believe it.
If you and your husband go into this very informed (read this forum
daily) you can do nothing but good for him. But you have to be really
"into" doing it. If I could, I'd get a sleep study. But I have no insurance.
Also, you might try asking him how he would feel if it were the other way around and you were not treating a life threatening condition to keep yourself alive or in good health. He is in denial but it isn't fair to the ones who love him either.
I was kind of in denial. Moreso I hated admitting I snored and it was something I shoved out of my thoughts. I really didn't know enough about the OSA to be too concerned about it or what it could be doing to my body. I vaguely knew people stopped breathing who had it and sometimes didn't wake up but didn't know of it's prevelance and I shrugged it off as not pertaining to me. Also, I have been through a lot of medical issues and a lot of surgeries. I was tired of dealing with everything and going through so much. So I ignored the issue as best as I could.
Snoring got to the point where it was causing friction at home particularly when we were away on vacation and there was nowhere for my family to escape. My 21 year old daughter did try and reason with me that if I did have sleep apnea it could be dangerous. My husband kind of got mean about it too and resentful. He told me he would do it for me if it were the other way around. And that this was my fault and he and my daughter were the victims. I don't agree with his assessment of it being 'my fault' but the words hurt enough to stick with me. As I look back, he had to because I would have just gone on the way I was being hard headed about it. He had to find other places in the house to sleep in the last couple years when it became intolerable for him. We have a small house and no options with an extra bedroom. In my mind I would lay a lot of blame on him and think to myself he is a light sleeper (which he is) and that was his problem.
I finally got tired of the friction and hurt feelings from comments and jabs and had a sleep study done. Still with annoyance that I was being pushed into it. I didn't expect anything to come of it really as far as being diagnosed with OSA. Two weeks later when I had a followup with the report in my hand and all the data, it was startling and eye opening. I remember I had a hard time not crying when the doctor was discussing it. I have a moderate case. Just over the mark from a mild diagnosis. Still it was startling and concerning to hear you stopped breathing 16 times per hour and all the other things that were happening to my body with oxygen dropping, etc.
My husband was with me. When we left the appointment I remember the flood gates opened and he kind of sympathetically laughed. He said he didn't think it was funny and not why he was laughing. He explained he was relieved because he was certain they were going to tell me I needed surgery. He said with all that I had been through he didn't want that to be the case. CPAP was far better solution than surgery. I actually knew a bit more than he going into the appointment. I knew if I were diagnosed it would mean a breathing machine for the rest of my life. My husband didn't even know what CPAP was when the doctor mentioned it. I explained it to him before the doctor had a chance.
I found my way to this forum and began reading for a month before I had my titration. I couldn't have gone anywhere else and learned as much as quickly as I did here. And learned I am not alone with it and it is nothing to be embarrassed about. It isn't a stigma. It is just a medical condition that is what it is. And the CPAP is working for me.