I’m so fatigued of trying to make this work

[ShipwreckSiren]

I’m not going to give up and quit but I just want to vent this morning. 

I’ve been diagnosed since December and trying to make CPAP work since then. The first month was terrible. The whole initial struggles: mask leaks, getting used to the pressure feeling, making it through a whole night with it on, etc etc. 

I started on nasal pillows and it was horrible. Felt like I was suffocating, it pulled my nose back and up like a pig so it hurt. Couldn’t get through a night no matter what I did. I had maybe three clear days where I woke up and felt better than I ever had and I’ve never had that since. 

Middle of January I switch to the FFM. This was a perfect fit for me initially. My AHIs were down to 0.4-0.8 consistently. I slept through the whole night. I didn’t feel as great as I did those three magical times but I made it through the whole night and had the lowest AHIs. 

Then I started waking up with headaches every day that finally turned into a migraine. I realized it’s because the FFM mask straps sit at the base of your skull and compress your neck muscles/nerves. But if I don’t keep it tight I get leaks. Then I’m back to waking up foggy and tired even with the low AHI. Probably because of the muscle tension. But I think I do have some RERAs in my data too. Follow up is in April with dr. 

I decided a week ago to try the nasal pillows again to give my neck a break. Worked good for one or two nights since I was used to the pressure. I could even keep it looser. But then a new nose pain started and I kept waking up and taking it off during the night. Was getting pain on the cartilage at the bottom of my nose and sores inside my nose. 

Now my memory foam mask leaks all the time. If it doesn’t, my neck hurts. I’ve bought padding and everything I can think of to fix it. Nothing has helped. I go back and forth. 

I decided to go online and find a way to find masks for cheap to try to find my Goldilocks mask. So I picked up a Philips Dreamwear nasal cushion yesterday. I LOVE that it comes with a small headgear. I have a small head so screw you Resmed because yours never seem to fit right. And the cloth is slick so they slide all over the place. The Phillips is more tolerable than the pillows. It is louder than the Resmed masks and whistles in the front. I don’t like that it doesn’t have the quick release. Overall it seemed good but my mouth opened minimally a couple times and so I got the bad mask fit this morning. 

I’m picking up the Resmed nasal cushion tomorrow to see if it or Phillips works better. Got both for cheap. Basically I’m wondering if the hybrid masks with the nasal cushion and mouth cover might work better for me than FFM and I found nasal cushions by themselves so I figured trying to see if I can even tolerate a cushion before buying those would be a good idea. 

I’m just tired y’all. Maybe less so than before CPAP but I’m becoming mentally and emotionally exhausted. It’s like just when you find a mask that works for ways others didn’t then it has a new issue that doesn’t work that others did. I’m a side sleeper that likes to nuzzle and chin tuck. I’m afraid I won’t find a mask that works for me that doesn’t cause me pain or doesn’t leak during the night ?

Why does getting enough oxygen when you sleep have to be so hard? I JUST WANT TO SLEEP AND NOT FEEL TIRED ALL THE TIME.

[Windswell]

Ms. Shipwreck,
As a fellow newcomer to CPAP and this board, I definitely feel your pain, and I've only been at this for 2 weeks.
I expect long-time people here will tell you to stick with it, figure it out, etc. I can't advise you either way.
I can tell you that I was having similar -base-of-the-nostril pain with the Resmed pillows. I read here or elsewhere to try the next pillow size up . 
So I moved from a Medium to a Large, and no pain, for one night so far.
I wish the rest of my issues with CPAP were as easy to fix as this one. 
Best of luck whatever you do.

[Gideon]

Try the Mirage Activa nasal mask. Compared to most nasalasks it is bulky. It is designed to actually float over your nose and when properly adjusted allows for nearly a half inch of movement. If nothing else you will learn what a properly adjusted mask feels like. Without pressure it will seem way to loose to work. The 2 most common issues with masks are

You have the wrong mask, it just doesn't fit you

Too tight, often because the mask doesn't fit you but the tightness itself causes leaks.

Read the Mask Primer in my signature.

[clownbell]

About a year ago, I tried the Resmed P10 pillow mask with medium pillows. I hated it. Nose hurt. I didn't like the feeling of something sticking inside my nose. So I abandoned it in favor of Fisher Paykel Brevida pillow mask with was great. Being the perpetual experimentor, I recently tried the P10 again with large pillows and it has been wonderful -- nothing like a year ago. Go figure. Maybe my nose is tougher.

Take away lessons (for me, at least):
1 - Try Fisher Paykel Brevida. Some experts think F&P has the best sealing technology in the industry. You may be surprised how loose you can wear it so that the pillow can inflate and seal properly.
2 - Don't abandon something that doesn't seem to work. Try it again in the future. It just may work then.

Last item: Without looking at your charts, the experts are forced to guess. Best to get OSCAR (free) and post your chart here. I note you mention liking to tuck your chin. You may have "positional apnea" in which chin tucking cuts off your airway. It can be solved with a soft cervical collar. But before putting the cart before the horse, be aware this can only be confirmed by looking at your charts. See OSCAR in the black band at the top of any Apnea Board page.