RE: I'm a spouce
Wow. You have some serious issues with this.
No, he will not be needing to take an oxygen tank everywhere. He has sleep apnea, not emphysema or lung cancer. Sleep apnea is a throat thing, not a lung thing. And, for the record, not everyone who uses those portable oxygen machines was a smoker nor overweight. There's miners, factory workers, asbestos workers, adult children of smokers, cystic fibrosis, etc.
Yes, the gadgetry connected to this can be a pain in the ass if you let it be. There's the machine, the mask, the hose, the cord, the jug of water. Some of the newer machines, though, look nice and very non-medical. My previous model was huge and ugly. My current one is small and unobtrusive. It is also very quiet. Some people put their CPAP in a dresser drawer, but leave it open when in use. Then, during the day, toss the hose and mask in there and shut the drawer.
Yes, it is one more thing to pack up. However, CPAP machines are so small right now, they are not that big a deal. And since it is medical equipment, it doesn't count toward your luggage limit on US airlines.
Yes, new users tend to obsess about it. I think that's a good sign. Far too many give up far too soon.
The noise could be the mask but more than likely it is the exhaust from the mask hitting the pillow or the sheets that make the most noise. Consider getting a white noise machine or play quiet, calm music. I have an app on my iPod Touch called White Noise. I use it a lot to help relax or block out sounds.
As for cuddling, you can spoon his back or, scoot down in the bed so his head is higher than yours and he can spoon you. Lay down together during the day, with the mask and machine on, and figure out how to do all this. Don't wait until you're both tired and ready for bed. And try using his machine. Put on the mask and try to understand his point of view. Then have him lay down in your spot and understand yours.
I can completely understand some of your frustrations but, to be honest here, get over it. That machine you hate so much? It is keeping your husband alive and allowing the two of you to have a wonderful life together. Untreated sleep apnea can lead to a lot of other conditions ranging from high blood pressure to heart problems to other fun stuff. And if you think that machine is a pain, wait until you have a wheelchair for him. Now those are an absolute joy to have around.
Learn to work around the issues together. He has to wear that thing every time he goes to sleep, probably for the rest of his life. He's the one that has to deal with the hose, the mask, and the adjusting. If all you have to worry about is the noise, cuddling, and another bag to pack, consider yourself lucky and blessed.
Apnea Board Moderator
Breathe deeply and count to zen.
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