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Insomnia
#1
Insomnia
I got permission to share this parody (non-comercial) with all of you!
"CUE GLORIA GAYNOR:
I used to stay awake, all night, every night
Kept thinking I would never sleep 'cuz you were at my side
But then I spent so many nights breathing slow and counting sheep
That I went to sleep 
And learned the joys of slumber deep

And now you're back! Insomnia!
I just woke up to find you here
Shoot me now. Embalm me--ugh!
I should have taken Zolpidem
And not have eaten that salami-uh
If I had known for just one second you'd be back, insomnia!

Go on now, go! And let me snore!
I've gone to bed now, and you're not welcome here no more
Weren't you the one who made me never shut my eyes?
Did you think I'm wired?
Did you think I'd not stabilize?

Oh no, not I!
It's beddy-bye!
And if I cant' get back to sleep, I'll sing a lullaby
I've got this whole night to doze
I will lie here in repose
Till half past five
And then revive! Hey-Hey!

Every morning, my alarm clock bells were clarions
I had to count the bags beneath my eyes as carry-ons
I lay awake so many nights reviewing how my day went wrong
And what I should have said when the cat got my tongue

But now you see--I've learned to snooze
And you can get out till the rooster c**k-a-doodle-doos
And when you enter my domain
I'll be snoring like a train
I've been sleeping like the dead, so don't you make me eat your brain!

Go on now, go! I've gone to bed!
I've gone to bed now, and you're not welcome in my head
Weren't you the one who made me never shut my eyes?
Did you think I'm wired?
Did you think I'd not stabilize?

Oh no, not I!
I'll calcify!
And if I cant' get back to sleep, I'll sing a lullaby
I've got this whole night to doze
Got my CPAP on my nose
Till I revive
And I'll survive"


By Miles Vorkosigan
                                                                                                                          
Please organize your SleepyHead screenshots like this.
Note: I'm an epidemiologist, not a medical provider. 
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