(05-12-2013 03:56 AM)ret-doc Wrote: Lola,
I know you are scared. There is no fear like what we experience when our body changes, and starts doing something different... especially in the night. We seem to experience our own mortality, more vividly, when we are most vulnerable.
I am a retired counselor.
I can not give you medical advice, diagnose, or even prescribe. I can talk as a friend (or family member) and perhaps help with, not what is causing the problem, but what to do to help yourself. Make sense?
One of the first things that caught my attention was you said you had been to your MD and they "didn't find anything wrong." Often, that means a Psychology issue, that they either give you a drug for or quietly send you home without any relief. The latter is most common when you don't exactly fit into the diagnostic criteria.
Secondly, the matted spit (sorry about being so graphic too) indicates you were in REM sleep after exhaustion. If you are correct that you are having sleep apnea... the thought explains a world of medical incidents. My own apnea can imitate a Disneyland of signs and symptoms. Sometimes it seems I am the only one hurting with aches and pains that go on for hours or days. (Last week, I was in a foreign city without my power cord. A CPAP without a power cord is a disaster in my life. I have slept with my machine for years and it is necessary).
See? You are talking my language. There are many of us who live the same terrors and anxieties. You just never know what others have to live with because most people won't talk about it.
When I was in grad school (a long time ago), I told a professor I was having panic attacks over school. She said, "Maybe you are not having panic attacks. Maybe you misidentified being excited." Someone else said something similar to you and I believe she is correct. Anticipation. Heavens, will the time never pass? <insert smiley face here>
Until you get your CPAP and get accustomed to a good nights sleep, you can help yourself with a couple of well-placed positive affirmations.
If you like, you are welcome to write to me and I will give you a "relaxation technique" that might be helpful.
And remember we all have friends, we have never met.
Thank you for your kind message and all of the information in it, and as for having sleep apnea I know I do because I was just diagnosed with it a few weeks ago roughly im just waiting to see the doctor to get my cpap I was diagnosed with moderate OSA.
Also I never thought about the fact that people really don't talk about what theyre going through most of the time I guess im the opposite I always describe everything and analyze it and make sure I can explain it the best I can to anyone who is listening lol I drive my family and my husband nuts a lot of the time Im very sensitive and very in touch with everything that happens to me which can be a curse a lot of the time lol but can also be good sometimes because everyone my whole life just said I was lazy cause I needed so much sleep and now I finally know theres a reason for it and I wouldn't have found that out if I wasn't persistant but for a while I just accepted it as normal and it was just a flaw in me but now im really glad im on my way to therapy but I hate the fact that its going to take so long! my appointment is the 31st I feel a bit better than I did yesterday which is good last time it wasn't till a couple weeks later that I started feeling better however my memory and concentration is shot....that hasn't gone away...but im suspecting it may when I start my cpap it will hopefully get better a little each night till all of a sudden im feeling better again
Also the REM after exhaustion is very interesting I could never understand why I could sleep 12 hours sometimes and be really tired after wards which I honestly did a lot! That makes sense
Im so glad you told me that I cant wait till im on cpap and need less sleep and have more normal sleep.
And lastly that is very true about having friends we have never met
Having this board and some of the people on it that have been so encouraging to me is really helping me through....again Thank you