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Often tired, too tired for sex, sleep lots and "puff" in my sleep. Help!
#11
RE: Often tired, too tired for sex, sleep lots and "puff" in my sleep. Help!
I realize this is an old post, but I just came across it. I thought I was the only person in the world who "puffed" at night. I was diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea over a year ago. I am 6 feet tall and 178 pounds. You definitely need a sleep study.



(09-23-2013, 09:18 PM)TiredInTheUK Wrote: Hi everyone.

I'm a new member and really, really need some help. My story is this....

I'm a 41 year old guy and I would describe myself as 5'10 and around 12 stone. I'm a home delivery driver for a supermarket three days a week (26hrs in total) that is quite stressful and involves a fair bit of heavy lifting. I do no other real exercise or sport but I would say I'm reasonably fit. I've been a vegetarian since I was 15 and most people have said that my tiredness *must* be linked to my vegetarian diet, but I've had various blood tests and they have always come back that I'm not deficient in anything. I also had my testosterone levels checked some 10 years ago and the results came back as normal for that as well.

My problem is that since I was a teenager I have always wanted to sleep for at least 8-10 hours a night and given the chance I can easily sleep up to 12-14. It goes without saying that this has caused me lots of problems in my personal life/relationships and work. When I'm awake I sometimes find I'm having to drink 4-5 cups of coffee a day to feel alert and to concentrate properly.

My sleep is all over the place and because some days I sleep longer than others (because I don't have to get up for work), I'm finding that I then often go to bed late at maybe 2-3am in the morning. This of course makes the situation worse when I then have to get up in the morning and I often don't wake up until 11am-midday time. I can't remember the last time I went to bed before midnight!

When I wake up I always feel very tired and lethargic and struggle to get up and get on with things. My concentration level is terrible and it is normal for me to "drift" all day and get nothing constructive done when I have tons of urgent things that need doing.

It goes without saying that I'm *always* tired when a partner wants to have sex and I have almost always made the excuse that I'm dog tired and need sleep. A true reason, but not one that has got much sympathy. I have now had 3-4 relationships where sleep/tiredness problems have ended them, the latest being a month ago.

My sleep pattern? Well according to several partners, my head hits the pillow and within seconds I'm fast asleep. I'm like this every night with no exceptions. I usually sleep on my side (no preference which side) and apparently I breathe in through my nose but always breathe out and "puff" through my mouth. My last ex said she thought that was unusual as she'd never known anyone breathe like that when they were asleep! I also *never* remember dreaming which to me seems odd.

As I said before, my last relationship with a partner ended a month ago because I was shattered and we had a massive row and this week I had a big argument with my boss at work which has seriously jeopardized my position. He was being a d**k but I was tired and I could and should have handled the situation more calmly than I did.

I sat myself down today and I have finally realised that I can't go on like this any more and I need to find a solution to my constant tiredness. I've been to my doctor and according to him I'm depressed and need anti-depressants, but I've seen the effect they have had on a couple of my friends and I don't want to try them. Maybe I am depressed, but if I am, the underlying cause is my tiredness and I want to fix that and not be pumped full of pills just because that's easier for the doctor to prescribe!!!

So, please, can you guys offer any help or advice?

Many thanks in advance.

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#12
RE: Often tired, too tired for sex, sleep lots and "puff" in my sleep. Help!
Your story is very similar to mine. My doctor though it was depression as well but then anti depressants made me paranoid and very impulsive (which I am told are side effects if your not depressed) was a very negative experience. Then they thought it was allergies so I had the full test and had no allergies at all, it was just a fluke my allergist thought I had sleep apnea and recommended me for a sleep study.

Turns out i had severe sleep apnea. I, like you can sleep soon as my head hits the pillow. Anytime anywhere I can sleep I never have a problem falling asleep. I never fall asleep involuntarily but if I have a day I have nothing to do I could easily sleep through the entire day and night (which I have done) with no problems.

Been using Cpap for a couple months now and I still sleep a lot and my sleep patterns are pretty much the same but now I DO have more energy in the day and not waking up with headaches which is great. I can still sleep anytime anywhere, I am not sure what it is why some people are that way when others can't sleep at all.

Anyways, get a sleep study done. You won't regret it.
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#13
RE: Often tired, too tired for sex, sleep lots and "puff" in my sleep. Help!
I just happened to see this post. I hope the OP is still reading and with us?

A few random thoughts? Some ways to maybe help decide if it's depression or OSA or something else?

When you are doing something you really enjoy, how sleepy are you at that moment? For instance, I am a movie guy, nothing I enjoy more than watching a good movie. But there was a period (before CPAP) that no matter how I tried, or how much I enjoyed the movie, I would fall asleep in the middle of it, and then be unhappy that I missed it.

Reading is my number one past time. But I found that I would become so sleepy after one a chapter or two, that I could not enjoy reading any longer (today, I might veg out and read the better part of a day without becoming sleepy.

As for too tired for sex... Instead of it being the last thing you do before sleep, try it in the morning, or the middle of the day - if you're still too tired for it then - that alone is a reason to feel depressed in my book Smile
*I* am not a DOCTOR or any type of Health Care Professional.  My thoughts/suggestions/ideas are strictly only my opinions.

"Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you. Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. One died for your Soul, the other for your Freedom."
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#14
RE: Often tired, too tired for sex, sleep lots and "puff" in my sleep. Help!
(04-27-2014, 12:21 PM)Peter_C Wrote: I just happened to see this post. I hope the OP is still reading and with us?

A few random thoughts? Some ways to maybe help decide if it's depression or OSA or something else?

When you are doing something you really enjoy, how sleepy are you at that moment? For instance, I am a movie guy, nothing I enjoy more than watching a good movie. But there was a period (before CPAP) that no matter how I tried, or how much I enjoyed the movie, I would fall asleep in the middle of it, and then be unhappy that I missed it.

Reading is my number one past time. But I found that I would become so sleepy after one a chapter or two, that I could not enjoy reading any longer (today, I might veg out and read the better part of a day without becoming sleepy.

As for too tired for sex... Instead of it being the last thing you do before sleep, try it in the morning, or the middle of the day - if you're still too tired for it then - that alone is a reason to feel depressed in my book Smile

I don't know if the op is still around but I appreciated your post. I think it's a very important topic because most doctors will mistake the symptoms of sleep apnea with depression and vice vera.

I know what you mean about the reading and doing things you enjoy, I had the same experience, just you articulated it better. For me it was working on the computer, which i use to be just a zombie at work. Now even though I am at the computer I feel alert and not just going through the motions. If that makes any sense.
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#15
RE: Often tired, too tired for sex, sleep lots and "puff" in my sleep. Help!
Exactly. Using me for an example. There is a fair number of things 'wrong' with me. I am now "disabled" and can no longer work (age 52). Drastic change in income and lifestyle (can) = depression.

Long-term pain MGNT, 3 major surgeries and 4 other long hospital stays (can) = depression

More major surgeries (2-3) planned in the next 18 months before any hope of leaving Pain MGNT (can) = depression

Due to lack of healthcare (til July), instead of time-released pain meds ($700 per month), I have to take immediate release pain meds six times daily (which means up/down roller-coaster of well/unwell, sleepy/awake, etc = very depressing.

Plus OSA and bi-level CPAP. Plus blood thinners for life. And, about 3-4 other issues.

So, is it my OSA, or am I depressed, or are my pain meds just messing me up, or, does life simply suck right now? I can easily sleep 10-12hrs most days, except when pain issues keep me up all night. When I do wake up, it takes two to three hours after taking all my morning meds to feel half-alive so now it's around 1PM when I can start my day. And, as I tend to go to bed around midnight, it makes for a rather short, not very productive day, thereby giving me one more thing to be depressed about - and none of this is magically fixable, either ever, or at least for the next year or two (and it's been this way since 2009)

As my ex-boss once told me, "Damn, you might as well shoot yourself and get it over with!" How's that for empathy?


My point in all the above is, I do not consider myself 'depressed'. I just have a lot of different 'issues' that are messing with my life, and I need to just keep my head down and slog through it til it (hopefully) improves. Yes, life *IS* much better than in 2009! Yes, I wish it would get better still, and sooner rather than later. I have and always will hate wasted days. Sadly, roughly 30% of my days I would consider a 'wasted day'. Oh well?

Pity parties get old and boring after everyone else leaves. Sometimes life just sucks. But today I am painting the kitchen (last room of the project that has taken me all winter to do), so my lovely wife is thrilled. I'm in the middle of a great book right now, and mowing season has started (I like mowing, it's my ZEN thing) - small stuff, but you take what you can get, right?
*I* am not a DOCTOR or any type of Health Care Professional.  My thoughts/suggestions/ideas are strictly only my opinions.

"Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you. Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. One died for your Soul, the other for your Freedom."
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#16
RE: Often tired, too tired for sex, sleep lots and "puff" in my sleep. Help!
Peter, thank you for that wonderful example of positivity. You're not saying things don't sometimes suck, because they do. But what I here you saying is in spite of those times, life is still a wonderful adventure that we all get to enjoy in our own way and our own time. Now, on to the important stuff..... What color is your new kitchen?
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#17
RE: Often tired, too tired for sex, sleep lots and "puff" in my sleep. Help!
Hi Peter_C,
I'm just glad you didn't listen to your xboss and that in spite of all that has happened to you, you are still here to talk about it.
trish6hundred
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#18
RE: Often tired, too tired for sex, sleep lots and "puff" in my sleep. Help!
(04-27-2014, 03:58 PM)retired_guy Wrote: Peter, thank you for that wonderful example of positivity. You're not saying things don't sometimes suck, because they do. But what I here you saying is in spite of those times, life is still a wonderful adventure that we all get to enjoy in our own way and our own time. Now, on to the important stuff..... What color is your new kitchen?

Hawaiian yellow (sort of a touch more gold than a pale canary yellow) Same as the bath. Black tiles in the bath, and a black stove in the kitchen makes the color really 'pop'. This entire interior has not been painted since the house was built, and like many contractors, they skimped on the paint, so you can see the sheetrock through the paint in places (you'd never notice if you weren't looking) - so every bit has taken at least two coats (including all trim work), but my lovely wife is happy - which is all that matters to me Smile

And yes, most of the time that is my normal outlook. But there are times when I just didn't think it could get worse, then it does. Like after the internal bleeding over the holidays, the Docs in their wisdom took away (forever) *all* my NSAIDs, can't even take Celebrex any longer. So now my hands are much, much worse - but now I have my own special fork and spoon Smile

(04-27-2014, 04:11 PM)trish6hundred Wrote: Hi Peter_C,
I'm just glad you didn't listen to your xboss and that in spite of all that has happened to you, you are still here to talk about it.

Oh ya. I honestly do believe in 'quality of life', and if the quality isn't there, with zero chance of it improving, why bother to continue. I just went through it with my Father in-law (2010) as he passed of COPD, and then my Mother in-law (2013) as she passed from diabetes, strokes, broken-hip, and heart-break.

But I always wonder, what if in that last moment a suicide changes their mind? Oops, too late? What *if* it does get better? Stuff like that would never allow me to bail. But, that said, seeing how I am at 52, I do wonder what I'll be like at 72?
*I* am not a DOCTOR or any type of Health Care Professional.  My thoughts/suggestions/ideas are strictly only my opinions.

"Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you. Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. One died for your Soul, the other for your Freedom."
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#19
RE: Often tired, too tired for sex, sleep lots and "puff" in my sleep. Help!
"So now my hands are much, much worse - but now I have my own special fork and spoon"

Well there you have it! You would like to take nsaids but instead you got forked!

I don't do nsaids well either. Doc says, "I want you to take a baby aspirin once a day." Says I, "Aspirin makes me bleed out." Says doc, "one little old baby aspirin can't hurt anything..........." ..................Says I, "Nurse? Is it time for my next transfusion?"


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#20
RE: Often tired, too tired for sex, sleep lots and "puff" in my sleep. Help!
(04-27-2014, 05:18 PM)retired_guy Wrote: "So now my hands are much, much worse - but now I have my own special fork and spoon"

Well there you have it! You would like to take nsaids but instead you got forked!

I don't do nsaids well either. Doc says, "I want you to take a baby aspirin once a day." Says I, "Aspirin makes me bleed out." Says doc, "one little old baby aspirin can't hurt anything..........." ..................Says I, "Nurse? Is it time for my next transfusion?"

Yup, hit the nail in one.

Been on the blood thinners for over 2yrs, along with 200mg of celebrex, and two 325mg aspirins (morning and night - heart DOC), with nary an issue til last DEC when my left back of my thigh started blowing up like a balloon, bruising badly - making me think 'DVT', went to hospital, INR was 2.4 (fine), did a scan (both legs) no DVT so the young pup said "Mr Crockett, you must have slept wrong, go home, put the leg up, use ice, and if it doesn't improve in a week, come back." - Hate hearing that. Went home, never got out of bed (pain not managed at all at this point), 4-5 days later my lovely wife said let's go back - this time someone thought to do a blood count and found me a pint or more low.

So, into the hospital for a refill, and my PCP Doc says, it happened once, so no more NSAIDs of any kind, ever again.

Switching off the good stuff to Celebrex was bad enough, but this is the first time in the last 30+ years without any form of NSAID, and it's rough, really rough.
*I* am not a DOCTOR or any type of Health Care Professional.  My thoughts/suggestions/ideas are strictly only my opinions.

"Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you. Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. One died for your Soul, the other for your Freedom."
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