Subject: How to bathe the cat.
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids up.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him to the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot get out.)
5. CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for you.
6. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
7. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "power-wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite affective.
8. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
9. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
10. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely, The Dog.
p.s.- For the royal spa treatment, drop in a couple of tablets of Alka-Seltzer, ooh sooo relaxing!