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Proof of Aliens!
#11
You people just don't get it. CPAPs were designed by aliens.

These aliens have a vested interest in humans becoming acclimated to higher atmospheric pressures. This is not a wide-eyed, far-out conspiracy theory of some type, but rather documented fact outlined in several scholarly works by Dr. Douglas Adams. It all involves a race of grotesque aliens called "Vogans" from the planet "Vogsphere".

Back in the early 1970's the Vogans won the Galactic closed-bid construction contract for designing and developing the universe's first intergalactic highway. The proposed highway, (due to gravitational anomalies and series of improperly placed illicit galactic restaurant supply planetoids) was unfortunately routed right through our own solar system. The most cost-effective trajectory for the highway bisects our own planet Earth, necessitating that Earth be demolished to allow the project to proceed unabated.

Originally, the date of demolition was for April 1, 1980. But (by an interesting twist of fate) in 1979, the Vogan government voted by a slim 0.0001% margin to join The Federation of Planets.

Vogans, as most intelligent life forms would agree, are mostly bad-tempered and have a tendency to focus on bureaucratic minutia. It was this fixation upon Federation Law details that caused them to completely overlook the more well-known Federation regulations, most notably, the Federations "Prime Directive" (ref here) which disallows member planets from interfering with the normal and healthy development of alien life and culture. After joining The Federation of Planets, the Vogans discovered that Earth needed to be destroyed for their intergalactic highway construction to proceed.

They then announced the proposed demolition of Earth to be completed on or around April 1, 1980. This announcement cause quite a stir amongst the more developed members of the Federation and on February 30th, 1979, a Writ of Stoppage was filed against the Vogan construction company to temporarily halt the planned demolition of Earth. The Writ was upheld on appeal in the Federation High Court and the demolition project was put on hold. It was then that a solution was proposed by a joint Kripton/Vogon/Vulcan advisory committee to overcome this issue. The proposed solution allowed the demolition of Earth while still remaining in compliance with the spirit of the Prime Directive.

The plan was approved after a two-month deliberation period. It included a scheme to slowly and systematically move the majority of Earth's intelligent population to a small planet designated as "Planet Dent 42" in the Andromeda Galaxy.

Unfortunately, Planet Dent 42 has a significantly higher atmospheric pressure than that which most humans are accustomed. So, with much subtlety, a degree of secretiveness, and with a plethora of bureaucratic processes, the Vogans contracted with a Dr. Sullivan from Australia to develop machines designed to slowly acclimate humans to the higher pressures associated with life on Planet Dent 42.

Some say that there was a conspiracy of sorts, since the project was to be "masked" as a health-concern issue for humans, and a new "disease" was created called "Sleep Apnea". The Vogans often complained that human snoring was the most repulsive noise they had ever experienced, and the Vogan High Doctor of Heath and Noise Control recommended that "any solution to acclimating humans to higher atmospheric pressures also get rid of that bothersome feature of sleep - the human snore". He put forth the solution, it was approved by the Vogon High Council, the Kripton/Vogon/Vulcan advisory committee and the Federation Ministry of Prime Directive Enforcement.

The semi-secret plan included pushing new pressure-acclimation devices out to the more highly-developed and intelligent humans on Earth in the form of "Continuous Positive Airway Pressure" or "CPAP" devices. The humans were encouraged to wear the uncomfortable devices when asleep. The devices, once worn for approximately 20 years, would acclimate most users to the higher pressures of Planet Dent 42, whereupon a Vogan-approved body snatcher would pick up the CPAP user in the middle of the night and put them on a transport ship for the 2-year trans-warp ride in cryogenic stasis, whereupon they would be thawed, re-animated and resettled in a reformatted artificial Earth-like environment on Planet Dent 42.

The entire process would be completely seamless and the travelers would have no real awareness of the trip or the transition to life on the new planet. But, they would be able to survive the higher atmospheric pressures due to 20 years of conditioning with their CPAP machine and mask.

So, by agreeing to shoulder the re-settlement costs for all the "intelligent" life on earth, the Vogans were able to appease most member planets in The Federation and convince them that the Prime Directive would not be violated (at least not the spirit of the law). The final solution was protested by a group of rogue Ferengi who complained "Where is the profit in all this?". Their complaint focused upon the fact that such reduction in Vogon construction profits hurt their own re-supply and galactic trade agreements with the Vogan construction company. They claimed it introduced an unfair unintended consequence (namely a violation of the Ferengi's Great Material Continuum, from which their "Rules of Acquisition" was derived). The Ferengi delegation's objections were over-ruled under Article 34.040.1 of the Federation Code of Priorities and the re-settlement proposal became Federation Law.

The new Earth demolition date was then moved to April 1st, 2036 to give enough time for the intelligent humans on earth to acclimate to Planet Dent 42's air pressure and be evacuated as soon as possible. The other intelligent earth life-form, namely dolphins, are to be evacuated sometime in the summer of 2035 to a somewhat closer planet (Neptune) where they could survive in relative comfort in subterranean oceans warmed by geo-volcanic heating systems.

This is the history of CPAP machines, and why they were designed by aliens, and this is also the reason for the hidden symbolism on the sticker icons. It's all been done for the construction of the intergalactic highway.

Very simple, really. Coffee

SuperSleeper
Apnea Board Administrator
www.ApneaBoard.com


INFORMATION ON APNEA BOARD FORUMS OR ON APNEABOARD.COM SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS MEDICAL ADVICE. ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF A PHYSICIAN BEFORE SEEKING TREATMENT FOR MEDICAL CONDITIONS, INCLUDING SLEEP APNEA. INFORMATION POSTED ON THE APNEA BOARD WEB SITE AND FORUMS ARE PERSONAL OPINION ONLY AND NOT NECESSARILY A STATEMENT OF FACT.



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#12
That was some novel. Double entendre intended. Smile
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#13
A most enjoyable article SS! I'll post it on my spaceship wall. Smile

[Image: 53320y.jpg]
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#14
Isn't that what I said from the beginning?? ALIENS!

PaulaO2
Apnea Board Moderator
www.ApneaBoard.com


Breathe deeply and count to zen.

INFORMATION ON APNEA BOARD FORUMS OR ON APNEABOARD.COM SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS MEDICAL ADVICE. ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF A PHYSICIAN BEFORE SEEKING TREATMENT FOR MEDICAL CONDITIONS, INCLUDING SLEEP APNEA. INFORMATION POSTED ON THE APNEA BOARD WEB SITE AND FORUMS ARE PERSONAL OPINION ONLY AND NOT NECESSARILY A STATEMENT OF FACT.




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#15
(11-18-2014, 12:21 PM)SuperSleeper Wrote: You people just don't get it. CPAPs were designed by aliens.

These aliens have a vested interest in humans becoming acclimated to higher atmospheric pressures. This is not a wide-eyed, far-out conspiracy theory of some type, but rather documented fact outlined in several scholarly works by Dr. Douglas Adams. It all involves a race of grotesque aliens called "Vogans" from the planet "Vogsphere".

Back in the early 1970's the Vogans won the Galactic closed-bid construction contract for designing and developing the universe's first intergalactic highway. The proposed highway, (due to gravitational anomalies and series of improperly placed illicit galactic restaurant supply planetoids) was unfortunately routed right through our own solar system. The most cost-effective trajectory for the highway bisects our own planet Earth, necessitating that Earth be demolished to allow the project to proceed unabated.

Originally, the date of demolition was for April 1, 1980. But (by an interesting twist of fate) in 1979, the Vogan government voted by a slim 0.0001% margin to join The Federation of Planets.

Vogans, as most intelligent life forms would agree, are mostly bad-tempered and have a tendency to focus on bureaucratic minutia. It was this fixation upon Federation Law details that caused them to completely overlook the more well-known Federation regulations, most notably, the Federations "Prime Directive" (ref here) which disallows member planets from interfering with the normal and healthy development of alien life and culture. After joining The Federation of Planets, the Vogans discovered that Earth needed to be destroyed for their intergalactic highway construction to proceed.

They then announced the proposed demolition of Earth to be completed on or around April 1, 1980. This announcement cause quite a stir amongst the more developed members of the Federation and on February 30th, 1979, a Writ of Stoppage was filed against the Vogan construction company to temporarily halt the planned demolition of Earth. The Writ was upheld on appeal in the Federation High Court and the demolition project was put on hold. It was then that a solution was proposed by a joint Kripton/Vogon/Vulcan advisory committee to overcome this issue. The proposed solution allowed the demolition of Earth while still remaining in compliance with the spirit of the Prime Directive.

The plan was approved after a two-month deliberation period. It included a scheme to slowly and systematically move the majority of Earth's intelligent population to a small planet designated as "Planet Dent 42" in the Andromeda Galaxy.

Unfortunately, Planet Dent 42 has a significantly higher atmospheric pressure than that which most humans are accustomed. So, with much subtlety, a degree of secretiveness, and with a plethora of bureaucratic processes, the Vogans contracted with a Dr. Sullivan from Australia to develop machines designed to slowly acclimate humans to the higher pressures associated with life on Planet Dent 42.

Some say that there was a conspiracy of sorts, since the project was to be "masked" as a health-concern issue for humans, and a new "disease" was created called "Sleep Apnea". The Vogans often complained that human snoring was the most repulsive noise they had ever experienced, and the Vogan High Doctor of Heath and Noise Control recommended that "any solution to acclimating humans to higher atmospheric pressures also get rid of that bothersome feature of sleep - the human snore". He put forth the solution, it was approved by the Vogon High Council, the Kripton/Vogon/Vulcan advisory committee and the Federation Ministry of Prime Directive Enforcement.

The semi-secret plan included pushing new pressure-acclimation devices out to the more highly-developed and intelligent humans on Earth in the form of "Continuous Positive Airway Pressure" or "CPAP" devices. The humans were encouraged to wear the uncomfortable devices when asleep. The devices, once worn for approximately 20 years, would acclimate most users to the higher pressures of Planet Dent 42, whereupon a Vogan-approved body snatcher would pick up the CPAP user in the middle of the night and put them on a transport ship for the 2-year trans-warp ride in cryogenic stasis, whereupon they would be thawed, re-animated and resettled in a reformatted artificial Earth-like environment on Planet Dent 42.

The entire process would be completely seamless and the travelers would have no real awareness of the trip or the transition to life on the new planet. But, they would be able to survive the higher atmospheric pressures due to 20 years of conditioning with their CPAP machine and mask.

So, by agreeing to shoulder the re-settlement costs for all the "intelligent" life on earth, the Vogans were able to appease most member planets in The Federation and convince them that the Prime Directive would not be violated (at least not the spirit of the law). The final solution was protested by a group of rogue Ferengi who complained "Where is the profit in all this?". Their complaint focused upon the fact that such reduction in Vogon construction profits hurt their own re-supply and galactic trade agreements with the Vogan construction company. They claimed it introduced an unfair unintended consequence (namely a violation of the Ferengi's Great Material Continuum, from which their "Rules of Acquisition" was derived). The Ferengi delegation's objections were over-ruled under Article 34.040.1 of the Federation Code of Priorities and the re-settlement proposal became Federation Law.

The new Earth demolition date was then moved to April 1st, 2036 to give enough time for the intelligent humans on earth to acclimate to Planet Dent 42's air pressure and be evacuated as soon as possible. The other intelligent earth life-form, namely dolphins, are to be evacuated sometime in the summer of 2035 to a somewhat closer planet (Neptune) where they could survive in relative comfort in subterranean oceans warmed by geo-volcanic heating systems.

This is the history of CPAP machines, and why they were designed by aliens, and this is also the reason for the hidden symbolism on the sticker icons. It's all been done for the construction of the intergalactic highway.

Very simple, really. Coffee

so does this mean us Australians are aliens since CPAP was invented here?


I'm not a Doctor but a fan of The Doctor. any views,comments etc are my own


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#16
(11-18-2014, 02:00 PM)PaulaO2 Wrote: Isn't that what I said from the beginning?? ALIENS!

Yes, but you always seem to forget all the details. You are concise; I'm rather wordy. Somewhere between the two truth lives. Or something like that. Thinking-about



(11-18-2014, 02:09 PM)DrWho? Wrote:
(11-18-2014, 12:21 PM)SuperSleeper Wrote: You people just don't get it. CPAPs were designed by aliens.

These aliens have a vested interest in humans becoming acclimated to higher atmospheric pressures. This is not a wide-eyed, far-out conspiracy theory of some type, but rather documented fact outlined in several scholarly works by Dr. Douglas Adams. It all involves a race of grotesque aliens called "Vogans" from the planet "Vogsphere".

Back in the early 1970's the Vogans won the Galactic closed-bid construction contract for designing and developing the universe's first intergalactic highway. The proposed highway, (due to gravitational anomalies and series of improperly placed illicit galactic restaurant supply planetoids) was unfortunately routed right through our own solar system. The most cost-effective trajectory for the highway bisects our own planet Earth, necessitating that Earth be demolished to allow the project to proceed unabated.

Originally, the date of demolition was for April 1, 1980. But (by an interesting twist of fate) in 1979, the Vogan government voted by a slim 0.0001% margin to join The Federation of Planets.

Vogans, as most intelligent life forms would agree, are mostly bad-tempered and have a tendency to focus on bureaucratic minutia. It was this fixation upon Federation Law details that caused them to completely overlook the more well-known Federation regulations, most notably, the Federations "Prime Directive" (ref here) which disallows member planets from interfering with the normal and healthy development of alien life and culture. After joining The Federation of Planets, the Vogans discovered that Earth needed to be destroyed for their intergalactic highway construction to proceed.

They then announced the proposed demolition of Earth to be completed on or around April 1, 1980. This announcement cause quite a stir amongst the more developed members of the Federation and on February 30th, 1979, a Writ of Stoppage was filed against the Vogan construction company to temporarily halt the planned demolition of Earth. The Writ was upheld on appeal in the Federation High Court and the demolition project was put on hold. It was then that a solution was proposed by a joint Kripton/Vogon/Vulcan advisory committee to overcome this issue. The proposed solution allowed the demolition of Earth while still remaining in compliance with the spirit of the Prime Directive.

The plan was approved after a two-month deliberation period. It included a scheme to slowly and systematically move the majority of Earth's intelligent population to a small planet designated as "Planet Dent 42" in the Andromeda Galaxy.

Unfortunately, Planet Dent 42 has a significantly higher atmospheric pressure than that which most humans are accustomed. So, with much subtlety, a degree of secretiveness, and with a plethora of bureaucratic processes, the Vogans contracted with a Dr. Sullivan from Australia to develop machines designed to slowly acclimate humans to the higher pressures associated with life on Planet Dent 42.

Some say that there was a conspiracy of sorts, since the project was to be "masked" as a health-concern issue for humans, and a new "disease" was created called "Sleep Apnea". The Vogans often complained that human snoring was the most repulsive noise they had ever experienced, and the Vogan High Doctor of Heath and Noise Control recommended that "any solution to acclimating humans to higher atmospheric pressures also get rid of that bothersome feature of sleep - the human snore". He put forth the solution, it was approved by the Vogon High Council, the Kripton/Vogon/Vulcan advisory committee and the Federation Ministry of Prime Directive Enforcement.

The semi-secret plan included pushing new pressure-acclimation devices out to the more highly-developed and intelligent humans on Earth in the form of "Continuous Positive Airway Pressure" or "CPAP" devices. The humans were encouraged to wear the uncomfortable devices when asleep. The devices, once worn for approximately 20 years, would acclimate most users to the higher pressures of Planet Dent 42, whereupon a Vogan-approved body snatcher would pick up the CPAP user in the middle of the night and put them on a transport ship for the 2-year trans-warp ride in cryogenic stasis, whereupon they would be thawed, re-animated and resettled in a reformatted artificial Earth-like environment on Planet Dent 42.

The entire process would be completely seamless and the travelers would have no real awareness of the trip or the transition to life on the new planet. But, they would be able to survive the higher atmospheric pressures due to 20 years of conditioning with their CPAP machine and mask.

So, by agreeing to shoulder the re-settlement costs for all the "intelligent" life on earth, the Vogans were able to appease most member planets in The Federation and convince them that the Prime Directive would not be violated (at least not the spirit of the law). The final solution was protested by a group of rogue Ferengi who complained "Where is the profit in all this?". Their complaint focused upon the fact that such reduction in Vogon construction profits hurt their own re-supply and galactic trade agreements with the Vogan construction company. They claimed it introduced an unfair unintended consequence (namely a violation of the Ferengi's Great Material Continuum, from which their "Rules of Acquisition" was derived). The Ferengi delegation's objections were over-ruled under Article 34.040.1 of the Federation Code of Priorities and the re-settlement proposal became Federation Law.

The new Earth demolition date was then moved to April 1st, 2036 to give enough time for the intelligent humans on earth to acclimate to Planet Dent 42's air pressure and be evacuated as soon as possible. The other intelligent earth life-form, namely dolphins, are to be evacuated sometime in the summer of 2035 to a somewhat closer planet (Neptune) where they could survive in relative comfort in subterranean oceans warmed by geo-volcanic heating systems.

This is the history of CPAP machines, and why they were designed by aliens, and this is also the reason for the hidden symbolism on the sticker icons. It's all been done for the construction of the intergalactic highway.

Very simple, really. Coffee

so does this mean us Australians are aliens since CPAP was invented here?

No, but it does mean that Australians seem to quote very large blocks of text on occasion, and it also means that Dr. Sullivan knew about alien lifeforms but choose not to reveal that fact to the Aussies living around him. It's all probably for the best, as Australia is surrounded by ocean water that is able to sustain large numbers of dolphins. You never want to upset a dolphin's pre-conceived world-view. That can be very dangerous to those on the coasts.

As for the quoting part, no one ever seems to like to quote me, mostly because I post nothing that's quote-worthy. That said, your large block quote of my post is, for whatever reason, somewhat flattering and helps to further inflate my ego. For that I will forever be grateful. However, for the sake of other readers, I hope no one else here quotes my entire post and then posts a one-sentence question after it. But again, I am somewhat pleased that you did it, at least one time. Bigwink

Coffee
SuperSleeper
Apnea Board Administrator
www.ApneaBoard.com


INFORMATION ON APNEA BOARD FORUMS OR ON APNEABOARD.COM SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS MEDICAL ADVICE. ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF A PHYSICIAN BEFORE SEEKING TREATMENT FOR MEDICAL CONDITIONS, INCLUDING SLEEP APNEA. INFORMATION POSTED ON THE APNEA BOARD WEB SITE AND FORUMS ARE PERSONAL OPINION ONLY AND NOT NECESSARILY A STATEMENT OF FACT.



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#17
[quote= However, for the sake of other readers, I hope no one else here quotes my entire post and then posts a one-sentence question after it. But again, I am somewhat pleased that you did it, at least one time. :bigwink:

:coffee:
[/quote]

Thank you SuperSleeper I'll remember that for future reference Big Grin

It's not the Dolphins here I'm worried about in our waters it's the Tiger, Bull and Great White sharks that stop me going into the ocean! Too-funny
I'm not a Doctor but a fan of The Doctor. any views,comments etc are my own


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#18
Evolution of CPAP

From this [Image: 170px-Vacuum_cleaner_1910.JPG] to this [Image: xAirSense10_AutoSet_for_Her.jpg.CROP.thu...WgSnVC.jpg]

[Image: 500px-Automotive_vacuums_in_Bayonet_Poin...lorida.jpg]
Banana Banana Banana Banana Banana Banana
They might looks like bananas but in fact they're ... aliens dressed like bananas

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#19
Didja see where that little space thing the Europeans landed on a comet "sniffed" a life building block? .....a quick squirt of right-guard and all was well.
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#20
Exclaimation 
CPAP = Constant Positive Alien Presents
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