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Sage advice...
#1
Hello everyone, Retired_Guy here:

I am writing this in response to yet another of our new members seeking wisdom about adjusting to the cpap therapy and hence achieving a fulfilling and rewarding life. It occurs to me that many of our members have not had the opportunity to be guided by the Old Wise Sage that I personally was privileged to visit with some time back. So to begin with, I’d like to play the cd I made from my last lesson with his sageiness. I recorded this whe............... Excuse me.... Someone’s at the door.....

..... “Hello o’ wise and mysterious Sage guy! I was just talking about you. Some of our members have need of your wise albeit a little on the space-cadetie type counsel. I was just going to play the cd from our last meeting for them.”

“Hello little pine needle in a forest of acorns. I stopped by today because I sensed you were needing my presence.”

“Is that because my thoughts, permeating through the universal consciousness came to you in a calm moment of meditation? Is it because with your great up in the air mental and spiritual acuity you perceived this very moment in time, yea even as it was unfolding herein, you came hereout?”

“No, dipstick. I was passing by and I noticed you set the curtains on fire again with your stupid candles. Now put out the fire while I begin my meditation with a few moments of quite reflection and a shot of scotch. O.K. all set now? Go ahead and play the cd for your friends....”

“It isn’t doing anything.”

“Plug in the recorder young bright spot on an otherwise dismal day.”

“It is.”

“Push the button.”

“I did that o’ magnificent one.”

“Put the daxn cd in the machine!”

“Oh. O.K. here we go.....”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Tell me, o’ illustrious pilot program in a world of ‘Golden Girls’ reruns, what need I do to experience the world?”

“It is good you came to me in your quest, brave and faithful albeit not so bright student of mine. Let’s begin your lesson with a demonstration: Raise thou one hand into the air, and from that raised hand extend forth a finger..... No, disrespectful 20 watt child in 60 watt body, not that finger, the other finger..... Now, close thy eyes. Tell me, do you feel the gentle summer breeze with your extended finger?”

“No, ever spicy sage, I feel not a gentle summer breeze.”

“That is because we’re in the house, and there is no breeze. Therefor your first lesson is thus: Where there is no wind, calm exists. Now, with thy bloodshot eyes still closed, say the ‘om’ three times.... Now remain silent...... That’s enough already... Tell me o’ student of great value not unlike fresh doggie dung, what did you hear in the silence?”

“Nothing, o’ wise guy.”

“Therein lies your second lesson: ‘When its really quiet, there is no sound.” Finally gentle student of amazing gullibility, turn off the lights. Now blow out that ridiculous candle... Ready? Ok.... Now, tell me what you see.”

“I don’t see anything o’ master of mysterious stuff, it’s dark in here.”

“Ah, you have it my child. Your last lesson ‘he whosoever dwelleth in darkness sees naught.’ Go forth now into the world and take with you all you have learned here today.”

“Does that mean I’ve graduated? Does that mean I’m now an enlightened one too? Does that mean I’m ready to experience the world, yea even mold the world into a more perfect place?”

“No, actually little student it’s simply because quite frankly you look pretty stupid standing around here with your eyes closed and your finger sticking in the air.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


“Ah, that was great to hear that again, Sagie, I am ever comforted and challenged by your finite wisdom.”

“Challenged..... Yea, I’d agree you’re challenged... But what need have you of me this day, what wisdom may I plop out into your dreary existence today that will give you cause to ponder, ever ponder,, thinking ‘here I go a pondering, a pondering...”

“Many of us are striving to master our sleep apnea and gain great new energy and vitality and stuff. We think it’s what we really need to do, and we’re excited about it and all that,,,,,,, but what can you tell us that would really inspire us to reach our goals?”

“I have an exercise for you. Tonight, when it’s dark, go outside and look at the stars. Reflect on them for a few moments.”

“What if it’s cloudy o’ clearly defined one?”

“Pretend it’s clear. Now shut up and listen. Go outside and look at the stars for a few minutes. Do you have a flashlight?”

“Yes Sagey, I do. But don’t you usually use candles when doing spiritual sagey things?”

“Yes, but in your case I think we’d better just stick to the flashlight. Shine the flashlight upon this document. Now read the words three times out loud, each succeeding time bring the words closer and closer to your heart.

‘The Stars Exist That I Might Know How High My Dreams Can Soar.’

Take from this moment the sure and unconditional knowledge that you are created as a being of unlimited possibility, and that it only remains for you to loosen the bindings that allow that great potential to flourish. Wait no longer for your ‘ship to come in.’ It is in port even in this moment, awaiting your arrival to claim your every good........

“So long little student, I’ll come to you again one day.”
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#2
Too-funnyToo-funnyToo-funny

Thanks
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#3
Outstanding.

But then, I used to fly with a guy that could recite Jabberwocky in its entirety.

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."
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#4
(03-16-2015, 01:04 PM)Homerec130 Wrote: "The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright--
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.

Definitely my favorite (favourite) poem.
That Lewis Carroll fella had a way with words. He could have named the poem "Mr. Oyster's Bad Day" however.


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#5
(03-15-2015, 10:02 PM)retired_guy Wrote: Hello everyone, Retired_Guy here

Are you sure? I think you're an impostor who just wears puce t-shirts to attract the girls.

The real RG wouldn't go to such extremes.

Tongue
SuperSleeper
Apnea Board Administrator
www.ApneaBoard.com


INFORMATION ON APNEA BOARD FORUMS OR ON APNEABOARD.COM SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS MEDICAL ADVICE. ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF A PHYSICIAN BEFORE SEEKING TREATMENT FOR MEDICAL CONDITIONS, INCLUDING SLEEP APNEA. INFORMATION POSTED ON THE APNEA BOARD WEB SITE AND FORUMS ARE PERSONAL OPINION ONLY AND NOT NECESSARILY A STATEMENT OF FACT.



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#6
There once was a man from Kent...
INFORMATION ON APNEA BOARD FORUMS OR ON APNEABOARD.COM SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS MEDICAL ADVICE. ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF A PHYSICIAN BEFORE SEEKING TREATMENT FOR MEDICAL CONDITIONS, INCLUDING SLEEP APNEA. INFORMATION POSTED ON THE APNEA BOARD WEB SITE AND FORUMS ARE PERSONAL OPINION ONLY AND NOT NECESSARILY A STATEMENT OF FACT.
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#7
(03-17-2015, 04:07 PM)retired_guy Wrote:
(03-16-2015, 01:04 PM)Homerec130 Wrote: "The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright--
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.

Definitely my favorite (favourite) poem.
That Lewis Carroll fella had a way with words. He could have named the poem "Mr. Oyster's Bad Day" however.

And he was heavy into recreational pharmaceuticals. After all, look at some of the stuff he dreamed up.

He was pre-CPAP so there goes the idea of the body finally getting a good night's sleep and the brain going off on its own.

Homer


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