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Senior Computer Skills
#1
Grin 
Senior Computer Skills....... (and YES!, I'm a senior)

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
************************
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'can't find printer.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
*************************
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in..
*************************
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
*************************
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry.... Internet Explorer..
*************************
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
*************************
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
*************************
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer..
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
************************
Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time.
That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:[/b] I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT
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#2
That's funny, thanks for the laugh!
OpalRose
Apnea Board Moderator
www.ApneaBoard.com

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#3
All the above scenarios can be classified as a "PICNIC" - Problem In Chair, Not In Computer! Whistle
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#4
I thought he said: señor computer skills.
INFORMATION ON APNEA BOARD FORUMS OR ON APNEABOARD.COM SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS MEDICAL ADVICE. ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF A PHYSICIAN BEFORE SEEKING TREATMENT FOR MEDICAL CONDITIONS, INCLUDING SLEEP APNEA. INFORMATION POSTED ON THE APNEA BOARD WEB SITE AND FORUMS ARE PERSONAL OPINION ONLY AND NOT NECESSARILY A STATEMENT OF FACT.
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#5
It's the old "ID-10-T" error. . . (IDIOT)
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Useful Links -or- When All Else Fails:
Posting SleepyHead Charts in 5 Easy Steps
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Apnea Helpful Tips
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#6
you say PICNICs I say PEBKACs ....
هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه
Tongue Suck Technique for prevention of mouth breathing:
  • Place your tongue behind your front teeth on the roof of your mouth
  • let your tongue fill the space between the upper molars
  • gently suck to form a light vacuum
Practising during the day can help you to keep it at night

هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه
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#7
I'm a retired main-frame programmer, systems analyst/designer, and had not run across that acronym. But it is very apropos, Daria!
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#8
Big Grin
and I had not seen PICNIC... but will soon be using it Big Grin
هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه
Tongue Suck Technique for prevention of mouth breathing:
  • Place your tongue behind your front teeth on the roof of your mouth
  • let your tongue fill the space between the upper molars
  • gently suck to form a light vacuum
Practising during the day can help you to keep it at night

هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه هههههه
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#9
When I was in QA for a major software company, I heard an agent tell the customer to type in c:format /s at about the 2 hour point of a very interesting call. The customer asked won't that reformat my had drive. The agent's reply was that is the first time you have listened to anything I've said in the last 2 hours.

When I used to support QuickBooks for Mac had a regular customer call in and ask how to cook my books. Being a Friday, without thinking I said how about 350 for an hour basting midway through. Got a great laugh from him. What he really wanted was report to show information a specific way.

Homer
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#10
:-)

I like the PICNIC, also the PEBKAC

In our workplace, we refer to it as "Defective Keyboard Controller"

Really hard to fix.
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