(11-22-2014 04:02 PM)Peter_C Wrote: Just getting it out there?
I have many "issues", apnea being just one of them.
I was at my Pain Doc's the other day, and was asked "Are you depressed?" - and I do not even know how to begin to answer that question?
I find it 'depressing' that at 52 years old, I have multiple different meds that I will literally die if I stop taking within months.
I've had two different joint surgeries within 4 months of each other, and my pain changes depending on if I am sitting, standing, etc.
If I am 'depressed', I am doing what I can to make stuff/life better, but it's not an overnight process (which is depressing) - so what good is it to talk about whether or not I am depressed?
As someone who actually suffered from depression (and beat it and have been depression-free for 15 years) I can feel your pain.
But depression is not just feeling blue. Lots of things can happen that can make you feel blue, including some of the things you are going through.
And while that may feel similar, there is an important distinction, which is that clinical depression is defined as feeling blue but NOT HAVING A GOOD REASON TO. IOW, it is not a reaction to negative life conditions, it is an inability to process chemicals in your dopamine receptors properly. It is not about what is going on in your life, it is about what is not going properly in your blood chemistry. Its a medical issue, and not a situational one.
You have to understand that and know that before you can treat it and get better. My advice is to first read that last paragraph over and over until you do; really think about it, because feeling bad about having bad stuff happen is usually something out of your control, but feeling bad because of no tangible reason is something definitely in your control, and you can fight to recover from that.
Being depressed can feel like you were just fired, your girlfriend cheated on you, your dog died, your stereo got stolen, you had a fender-bender, and your family disowned you, all at once. It is a feeling of deep discontent. Every little thing seems like a major catastrophe. But it is just a feeling that is not valid, and one that you can make go away.
The difference between someone who is depressed and someone who all of those things happened to in the same day, is that the normal person will see things get slowly better day by day going forward, while the depressed person wakes up to feeling that bad and that out of control every day, and sometimes worse every day, day after day. That 's the bad news.
The other difference is that the depressed person can take control of the situation, while the situational bad luck person, can't. That's the good news.
So it can actually be better to have all of that misfortune than to be depressed. That is just the tip of the iceberg illustrating how bad things can get.
But the depressed person also did not have any of those things happen; he just feels like they all did.
What your doctor should have told you, rather than simply asking if you feel depressed, is to take a diagnostic test to see if you are depressed. There are at least two very-well-regarded tests for depression available on the internet.
If it turns out that you are clinically depressed, get help. You have enough troubles already, and you don't need that, so find a way to deal with curing your depression, if you have it, because being clinically depressed will just make dealing with everything else much more difficult.
One of the most sinister things about clinical depression: if you are sitting on one side of the room, and on a counter on the other side of the room is a magic elixir that possibly could cure your depression, your depression may just cause you to continue to sit there thinking "what's the use?". You have to shake that off, and fight to get better.
Regarding all of those hypothetical woes I was speaking about, you don't have control over them. It would be difficult to un-break up with your girlfriend, get un-fired, unbend that fender, or bring your dog back to life. You just have to deal and wait for things to get better. But depression is something you do have control over, and that is the glass-half-full way to look at it, which, having that attitude, is the first step. I beat it, and so can anyone else who is motivated to.
So, if clinically depressed, fight to be cured. You have a fighting chance, so take it. Fight, and that alone will start to help make you feel better.
Good luck. PM me if you need to talk.