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failed first attempt, trying again
#1
failed first attempt, trying again
Several years ago, I was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea by sleep studies at my local hospital. The first night went well, but the second night I stayed there was a nightmare and one of the workers was actually fired over their treatment of me. So I got off to a bad start. Also the CPAP mask and equipment supplier was miles from my house and they were not willing to spend enough time with me to find what mask would be best. I am claustrophobic, evidently I have a small face and I am a mouth breather. I used my device for a few months and it did not seem to be helping and it was driving my husband nuts. So I gave up.
I cannot function as tired as I am and I know for general health reasons, it is important that I get back on treatment. After the first of the year I start on new insurance and I am determined to make it work this time. I found a CPAP supplier near my home and actually "browsed" around their store a few times until I was sure how they treated their customers. They recommended a new doctor who would let me do a home sleep study and as soon as insurance settles in, I will make an appointment for that. I love my husband dearly, but he is a very restless sleeper and a horrible snorer (no apnea) and I get no rest with him, plus the CPAP noise bothers him, so the time has come for me to set up my own bedroom. He's not happy, but is starting to understand how important it is for me to get some rest.
I am starting from scratch and have been shopping for a new mattress and really like the memory foam style. I sleep on my back (trying to break that habit) and I have a bad back and neck from a car wreck years ago. The memory foam ones in the store feel wonderful, but my husband insists this is the worst kind for someone with sleep apnea. Not sure what makes him an expert or if he is still trying to find a way to keep me with him all night, so I am asking this forum what experience others have had with different mattress types. Price is a consideration and I hope to take advantage of Black Friday sales. Since I do not have a new doctor yet, I cannot ask him.
Any suggestions from the group? Thanks!
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#2
RE: failed first attempt, trying again
You have a number of issues to overcome, and hopefully some of the members here that share your claustrophobia can suggest some ways to get desensitized to using a full-face mask. Your mask selection will be the most important item for your comfort and effectiveness so be prepared to try several. Ask your supplier what their policy is to help you if a mask is not working out. They should have an easy exchange policy.

When it comes to selecting a machine, I think the easiest approach is to just have one that you know will meet your needs, and go for it. In your case a Resmed Airsense 10 Autoset For Her with heated humidifier and heated Climateline hose, would be ideal. It has full data, is auto-titrating to avoid a sleep study at a clinic, the best exhale pressure relief in the market, and therapy algorithms specifically designed for sensitive individuals and women. Talk to your selected supplier about availability of that specific machine. This machine is absolutely silent, and the only noise will be air from leaks or vents. Also, you can buy a fleece CPAP tube cover (search). This will make the hose softer, warmer, quieter and less medical looking. You can thank me later. A hose cover is the least expensive thing you can do for your personal comfort.

Your husband snores, and you state he does not have apnea. He was tested? The family that PAPs together, stays together. If he really doesn't qualify for CPAP therapy, he could consider any number of snoring aids.

Consider getting a bedside table with drawers. You can keep supplies and your machine in the drawers and it will be quiet and safe. I have a 2-drawer side stand, and my machine lives in the bottom drawer. I have a 2-inch hole through the back of the cabinet for the hose and power. Your room does not need to look like a hospital, and it will make things even quieter.

Good luck. Try to find a way to stay together and you can get a bed for guests.
Sleeprider
Apnea Board Moderator
www.ApneaBoard.com

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INFORMATION ON APNEA BOARD FORUMS OR ON APNEABOARD.COM SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS MEDICAL ADVICE. ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF A PHYSICIAN BEFORE SEEKING TREATMENT FOR MEDICAL CONDITIONS, INCLUDING SLEEP APNEA. INFORMATION POSTED ON THE APNEA BOARD WEB SITE AND FORUMS ARE PERSONAL OPINION ONLY AND NOT NECESSARILY A STATEMENT OF FACT.
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#3
RE: failed first attempt, trying again
I don't know if I was a mouth breather or not, but I "LEARNED" how keep my mouth shut and use the P10 pillow mask and a chin strap. Now the only sound that can be heard from our bedroom is my wife's snoring. She is keeping me awake.
Don't let ANYONE tell you what is best for you. Only you can determine that. You can listen to suggestions but do what is right for you. Every one's journey is different.
I sleep on my back, it is most comfortable for me.

MASK is king. Comfort rules. Sit back and enjoy the ride. It may be a long ride but wort every minute.

CPAP is a journey like “The Wizard of Oz”. It’s a long slow journey. You will face many problems and pick up many friends along the way. Just because you reach the poppies, it doesn’t mean you are in Kansas. 
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#4
RE: failed first attempt, trying again
(11-21-2016, 12:33 PM)Tired tired tired Wrote: I love my husband dearly, but he is a very restless sleeper and a horrible snorer (no apnea) and I get no rest with him,
I don't mean to stir up a tempest in a teapot, but ....

How do you and your husband know that he does not have sleep apnea? Has he been tested? If not, then you don't know for sure that he does not have apnea.

I bring this up not only because his snoring could be a symptom of OSA, but also because his overall restlessness when sleeping is also something that can be a symptom of OSA. And finally I'll add this: Not all people with OSA have noticeable daytime symptoms of sleepiness or fatigue. Sometimes it's because we've learned to compensate for it and sometimes it's because we really don't know just how tired we are compared to how tired we should be.

You also write:
Quote:I am starting from scratch and have been shopping for a new mattress and really like the memory foam style. I sleep on my back (trying to break that habit) and I have a bad back and neck from a car wreck years ago.
Once you are using a CPAP it does not matter what position you sleep in: The whole point of a properly set CPAP is that it provides enough positive air pressure to splint your airway open regardless of your sleep position. It sounds to me like sleeping on your back is something you do because it minimizes the back and neck problems from the car wreck. My advice is sleep in the position that is most comfortable for your whole body and set the CPAP high enough to compensate if your apnea is actually worse when you are sleeping on your back. (Not everybody's untreated OSA is actually worse on their back.)

Quote:The memory foam ones in the store feel wonderful, but my husband insists this is the worst kind for someone with sleep apnea.
Pardon my saying it, but I think your husband is making up his own set of facts here, perhaps because he doesn't want to pay for a memory foam mattress or perhaps because he just doesn't like them.

Again: The point of CPAP is that it provides enough air pressure to prevent your airway from collapsing regardless of your sleep position or your sleeping surface.

I'll add this: It's important that the mattress you select is good for your back and neck issues. My guess is that a memory foam mattress provides better support for people with back and neck issues than a standard mattress does, but if you have a doctor who deals with your back and neck issues, you might run the question by him/her.

Quote:Not sure what makes him an expert or if he is still trying to find a way to keep me with him all night, so I am asking this forum what experience others have had with different mattress types.
I think you've identified the real issue: Your husband doesn't know any more than you do about OSA, but he's trying to bluff his way into keeping you in the same room with him.

You've got to have a real sit down with your husband and talk about your sleep issues rather than his. Or rather let me correct that: You need to make it clear that his snoring combined with your OSA and back and neck problems is preventing you from getting a good night's sleep. You need to be adamant about this, and you need to let him know that if he wants you to sleep in the same bed with him, then all of the following things have to happen:

1) He has to accept your CPAP, noise and all. You need it for your health and your daytime functioning.

2) The new mattress will be one designed to minimize your back and neck issues. And if that means it's a memory foam mattress, so be it. The CPAP will manage your OSA regardless of the mattress you are sleeping on.

3) Your husband needs to agree to a sleep test of his own. If his snoring is bad enough to cause problems with your sleep, then it's bad enough to be properly investigated. If your husband is diagnosed with OSA, then he needs to suck it up and get a CPAP of his own and y'all can learn the ropes of PAPing together. If a sleep test shows that your husband does not have OSA in spite of the snoring, then your husband needs to work with a doc on methods to control the snoring so that you can get your sleep.

If your husband can't agree to all three of these conditions, then I think you are right to think the best solution is for you to move into a different bedroom so both of you can get some sleep. In that case, buy the mattress that you want to buy for your back and neck and remember that the CPAP can and will take care of the OSA for you.


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#5
RE: failed first attempt, trying again
I'm too new to offer CPAP advise. But as far as a mattress goes, I purchased a Sleep Number bed and I will never buy anything else. You can change the support to exactly what you need that night. Best thing since sliced cheese! They now offer adjustable beds too. While pricey, if your back is really bothering you can elevate the head of the bed. Some people say they breath better sleeping on their back if their head is elevated. I bought mine on a payment plan with no interest. So it was a good deal all around.

If you are comfortable on your back don't change position just because people tell you side sleeping is better. It may be better for them, but you have injuries to deal with. Do what is best for you!
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#6
RE: failed first attempt, trying again
Hi Tired tired tired,
I can relate to your feelings of claustrophobia, as I am too! When I went for I Sleep Study, they tried to fit me with a full face mask, and I panicked. They then tried a nasal mask, which was a little better. But when I had to actually make a decision on a mask, I tried a nasal pillow mask and never looked back. I had to train myself not to mouth breathe, and have been successful. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to wear full face mask if you mouth breathe.

As far as sleep position, sometimes a recommendation is made to new folk to try and stay off their back, but that is only if they haven't yet started therapy. But in your case, you have to put comfort first.

Once on therapy, sleep whatever way is comfortable for you. Smile

You will want to do some research on machine types out there, and be sure you are perscribed a data capable auto cpap, not a straight pressure cpap. More so in your case...if you prefer sleeping on your back, it's a must to have an Auto cpap that will adjust to your pressure needs. A straight pressure cpap can only stay at one pressure, and may not be sufficient to tackle Apnea events on your back. Here is a link to guide you, so when you see a DME/supplier, you will know what you are getting.
http://www.apneaboard.com/wiki/index.php...ne_Choices

Now as far as mattress choices, there are so many out there. Everyone is different, and I recommend you go try out a few different brands.

I ended up purchasing a Tempurpedic foam mattress that is adjustable. Yes, alot of money, but was in the market for a new one. Was able to get 48 months, no interest. That was the only way I could afford it. After using this for 2 years now, I have no regrets, and the fact that it is adjustable makes all the difference in my sleep, especially if I'm on my back.

Wish you luck this time around. You need to do this for your own health.
Put yourself first!
OpalRose
Apnea Board Administrator
www.apneaboard.com

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INFORMATION ON APNEA BOARD FORUMS OR ON APNEABOARD.COM SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS MEDICAL ADVICE.  ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF A PHYSICIAN BEFORE SEEKING TREATMENT FOR MEDICAL CONDITIONS, INCLUDING SLEEP APNEA.  INFORMATION POSTED ON THE APNEA BOARD WEB SITE AND FORUMS ARE PERSONAL OPINION ONLY AND NOT NECESSARILY A STATEMENT OF FACT.
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#7
RE: failed first attempt, trying again
Dear Tired Tired Tired,

If your hubby does indeed have sleep apnea, just think how wonderful life would be if both of you got great nights' sleep together, each of you with your own CPAP machine. And much much more importantly, the time you spend together when you're awake will be much much better.

That's what CPAP therapy is really all about, the time we spend together when we're awake.

And, oh yeah, CPAP machines are a lot quieter than they used to be a few years ago. They are much better in many other ways, too. As are masks.

So, good luck to you on your journey. The only thing worse than life with CPAP is life without CPAP.
Sleepster

INFORMATION ON APNEA BOARD FORUMS OR ON APNEABOARD.COM SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS MEDICAL ADVICE. ALWAYS SEEK THE ADVICE OF A PHYSICIAN BEFORE SEEKING TREATMENT FOR MEDICAL CONDITIONS, INCLUDING SLEEP APNEA. INFORMATION POSTED ON THE APNEA BOARD WEB SITE AND FORUMS ARE PERSONAL OPINION ONLY AND NOT NECESSARILY A STATEMENT OF FACT.
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#8
RE: failed first attempt, trying again
Hi Tired tired tired,
WELCOME! to the forum.!
I want to wish you better luck this time around as you restart your CPAP therapy.
Don't be shy about asking to try different masks, 'till you find one that works well for you.
If your husband hasn't had a sleep study to see if he has sleep apnea, it would be a good idea for him to do this.
Hang in there for more responses to your post.
trish6hundred
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#9
RE: failed first attempt, trying again
Just as an aside for information. I worked for a while in an industry that supplied the mattress industry. The first thing to know about the mattress industry is that their mark-up is outrageous. Part of that is brought on by the longevity of mattresses.

What I found during this time is that Serta is probably the most technologically advanced company. We own two of their tempurpedic type of mattresses and are very glad we bought them. So far they are the best we have ever owned.

Best Regards,

PaytonA

Admin Note:
PaytonA passed away in September 2017
Click HERE to read his Memorial Thread

~ Rest in Peace ~
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#10
RE: failed first attempt, trying again
I am so touched to have already gotten so many supportive messages and feel I have found a good place to be to start my second CPAP time around. I appreciate all the advice and benefit of everyone's experience.

First to address my hubby's snoring. Several years back, we made a joint appointment with a sleep specialist, since we were both bothering each other with snoring. The doctor commented how nice it was that I was there to support my spouse, when we told him we were both snorers. He very diplomatically said that he suspected that my husband (6', 275lbs) would be his long term patient, rather than me (5'8", 135lbs). We each spent a night in the hospital and his results showed no sign of apnea, but he was indeed a loud snorer. The sleep doctor sent him to an oral surgeon who removed and adjusted various parts of his throat and mouth and after the surgery, he was somewhat quieter. Although I am thin, I have a mild to low medium case of apnea. I have vivid memories of hearing both my parents snore and gasp when I was a kid, so I am sure I inherited it.

The staff at the hospital sleep center commented about how little I moved around while I slept. My husband on the other hand, moves, rolls and kicks all night. The doctor finally decided it must be him releasing pent up action from sitting at a desk all day and suggested he exercise more, which unfortunately did not happen. Since he is so much heavier than I am, on our inner spring mattress bed, all his moving around bounces me around all night. Plus he kicks and more than once has let an arm swing hard on me. He is the most nonviolent person ever and would never lay a hand on anyone, especially me, but in his sleep, he is becoming a bit of a hazard. He also has a bad case of reflux and sometimes will hiccup for long periods of the night. Oddly enough, this does not wake him, but he shakes the bed so, it is impossible to sleep next to him. At one time we thought about replacing our king bed with 2 twins and separating them slightly, but since the snoring is bothering us both, that would only solve one problem.

Now that our youngest child has moved out, we have an extra bedroom (but she took her bedroom furniture with her) that I am going to set up for myself, which is why I am shopping for a new mattress.

He is not happy about it, but I end up sleeping so many nights on the couch after he keeps me awake, that I think he understands that I would be better off with my back and neck on a real bed. Plus once I get my new CPAP, I can't be dragging it to the family room in the middle of the night and getting reorganized there and getting back to any kind of deep, restorative sleep. In the long run, I hope it improves our relationship, as he gets frustrated with me in the evenings, since I am so exhausted after little sleep and a day's work.

With all the sales coming this weekend, I hope to find a mattress in a good price range. I am pretty sure I want memory foam, but I am still deciding on what size. I may get a day bed kind of twin or a full size. I think it is important to him that I do not make the room a full on bedroom. Right now we have a desk and some bookcases in there and I just want a comfortable place to rest, with a nightstand for my CPAP and a reading lamp, but not make a big deal about it being "my room". Hopefully if I set an example of trying to take better care of my health, he will follow in ways he needs to, because someday I hope to live an interesting long retirement life with him.
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